Let’s face it.. No couple ever imagines at the beginning of their partnership what kind of issues they will get into down the line.
That sprinkling of hormones at the beginning of the journey is pretty damn powerful at creating the perfect fairy dust blinders so we don’t see what is separate from our projections onto our partner of what we want them to be, not as they actually are.
Most, if not all of us, do this.
And then we wonder how we got there when we don’t feel so connected and close.
Because you feel like getting rid of the relationship because you’re not sure how to fix the disconnection. And you don’t know how to get back to how it was at the beginning (which most of my couples crave).
Like my couple Mary and Jay.
They had been together 10 years. Had two kids. Were hugely busy and successful entrepreneurs.
But the spark had been missing for a while now.
It wasn’t that they were in huge distress, it’s just that the love and vitality seemed to have drained out of their connection with each other entirely.
Because I’m always using my senses and intuition as an instrument in the room, I felt that dead-ness within them…that tells me that something is asleep, unconscious, or numb, and I used the location of the dead-ness I felt, and the movement of it, along with the corresponding thoughts and feelings to understand what is going on with this couple (and every couple).. to tell me where we need to begin.
I brought it up… they looked so sad.
And then Mary lifted her head up and spoke.
“”I feel like we’ve lost our way..like we have not enough conscious and deeper structures really holding us..together.””
BOOM. I felt the truth of that.
And what they needed was something that could revitalize them, not a communication practice, but something much larger, more substantial and sustaining.
They needed a shared spiritual practice and perspective.
Which was totally possible.
One that could hold their deepest questions, the way they thought about their relationship and their journey of evolving the challenges forward.
A spiritual practice that included residing in
deeper love together
deeper presence together
deeper awareness together
and deeper inquiry as to what would help them truly revitalize together.
Look, this is not easy for any couple to do, you have to if you want to flourish, so if you want a quick fix, this is not it.
But if you want the deep hot sex, love and closeness that’s possible, you have to make the decision to go deep, go honest, get real….or choose to stay in mediocre meh. It is a choice.
Mary and Jay made the choice, and went all the way with these practices…committed to them every day, and got so much revitalization and soul back in their connection.
They’d spend a few minutes each day, cultivating love by looking in each other’s eyes, and breathing in love, and breathing out love. The same with presence. And awareness.
You think it’s easy to do these things.
But it’s not.
Because they’re vulnerable and deep and they show you everything.
Sparks flew in our next few sessions, and there was more color in their faces (always a good sign) and I felt more energy with them too. The numbness was gone. The deadness lifted.
They had created something that really guided them.. and that held them…exactly where they needed to be held.
It was really special.
And profound.
And full of life, hot sex, closeness and love.. some of the best things in life…for those who are the ones ready to decide to create this for themselves.
What’s ONE thing you can do today, to develop or deepen your spiritual connection and practice with your partner, in a way that supports you exactly the way you need to be held? I’m taking time myself to deepen into my own presence, simple as it sounds, to bring back even more of that to my partner.
And I want you to have that too.. only if you’re finally ready to create it. I’ve got room for one person this week, who wants to create an epic love relationship, so deeply full of soul, who has some stuff that’s in the way and wants me in their corner. Sign up HERE (https://www.freecallwithjoanna.com) for your free call, and I’ll help you with the one thing that will help you get things in a better flow today. This is a precious opportunity to receive my support for FREE (normally a $350 value) and most importantly, to see the difference in your relationship that you know you’re craving deeply.
