I’m SO loving sharing with you these stories each week of how REAL parents and couples are ACTUALLY transforming their marriages and partnerships and having huge family love, closeness and connection because I want you to know and believe it’s possible for you.
It’s literally helping people heal disconnection stand offs and restore closeness resulting in better health, happier families, more opportunities at work, pay increases, more sex, become better parents, and it’s all because of how profound it is to heal the ROOT causes of intimacy and closeness problems.
Sometimes there are the couples, maybe you’re one of them, who can NO LONGER tolerate the disconnection and lack of closeness between them.. maybe it’s been going on for a while…
Like it had been for Ben and Ayla.. who had been partnered for 8 years, not married, but one 4 year old and another one on the way.. both working at start-ups, bright, want to be conscious and definitely acknowledged there was some less than savory stresses in both of their family lineages.
So what Ben shared was that his father was an alcoholic, withdrawing from his mom, and had very little inner resources to do relationship at all, let alone well, like Ben himself deeply desired.
These imprints (from his parents on to Ben) made him sometimes drink more than he desired as a way to disconnect from deeper intimacy and closeness when Ayla would make a bid for connection with him.
And the thing is, that Ayla had her own ancestral stresses and trauma too.. her father had abandoned the family when she was 4, the age of her daughter now, and her mom raised Ayla and her older sister with very little, leaving Ayla feeling less than secure when it came to love.
All of us have a line of people that we come from, and they transmit everything about love, connection, but also unresolved injuries and wounds which can create stress if not dealt with.
And so here they were, working with me, ready to call it a day.. both of them not ready to share what it was exactly that made them get into their negative cycle with each other. Negative, in that it was the painful way they connected, but not satisfying to either one of them, because there was no positive emotional connection, just a negative one.
And so, that was the start of our work.. was helping them team up against this negative cycle, so that their precious connection would not be destroyed… and even give a name to the negative cycle.. which they jokingly came up with the title, Cut Out – Insecure, because Ben would cut out of connection, and Ayla would become insecure.
What fun name would you and beloved give to your negative cycle?
Because when you do, you become teamed up, allies, against the emotional disconnection which cuts away at the true love that’s always trying to happen.
And when Ben and Ayla did that, they became more connected.
And Ben would say to Ayla, “Just naming the cycle, helps me feel closer to you. And when I do, I feel able to tell you that I’m scared and sad when we don’t spend time together, just connecting, instead of cutting out which I know hurts you.”
That was pretty connection inspiring… Notice how Ben shared his vulnerability, was intimate about his inner parts, and emphatic as well towards Ayla.
And you can imagine the rest; Ayla felt heard, seen on a deep level, and CONNECTED with what was really going on with Ben, NOT the layers two or three levels above the deepest emotional truth.
Now THAT, is the difference.
Because from there, that is where the creative conversations begin, under the armor, the defense, the fears of being vulnerable and sharing ALL our inner parts.
It always make me smile with delight to watch this unfold in my couples sessions… and the joy that comes, the relief, the connection, the creativity and the CLOSENESS.
And I can hear what some of you are thinking… and I’m taking a stand for you that ‘YES’, you can have this.
Even if…
- no one ever showed you how to do it
- you and your partner have been stuck in a negative cycle for a long time
- you think it’s possible for other couples and not for you
- you’ve pretty much given up on getting the rich emotional closeness and connection you desire
- even if your partner won’t change or join you
It’s your turn now.
I KNOW I can help you flip the disconnection switch… and I believe you can and you will.
Because you deserve it.
Because you desire it.
Because it’s time.
Because it will stoke your creative fires, in work, family and Hot Sex and Love with each other.
Who’s ready to have truly soul-satisfying emotional connection in partnership?
Leave a YES for me in the comments so I can send some positive connection energy vibes your way…
And… I’ve got ONE spot open this week for anyone who is wanting to turn up the hotness, love and intimacy in their love relationship…..even if you haven’t been having it for a while… get on this while there’s openings.. you can tell me any one thing you want help within your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you.
