When we can acknowledge how our kids can trigger the EFF out of us, we can finally get closer to reclaiming parts of ourselves, or our own inner child, so we can get closer to our partners and have an easier family life.
Which naturally frees us up to be happier, lighter and get hot, loving and connected.
Now that’s something I want you to have.
Because this life is precious and so are these days you have with each other.
I don’t have to tell you that time goes by quick.
And kids do what they do.. and they have this uncanny knack for knowing exactly where we are stuck… and then ramping it up on their end.. often with sibling support (if there’s two).
So here’s what to do.
Sit in front of your partner.
Take turns – first person acknowledges a recent event where something the kids did that triggered you – second person just listens and says thank you for sharing that.
Next.
First person takes a few minutes to say, “When Jan did TRIGGERING THING…I felt FEELING…and it reminded me of PART OF INNER CHILD…or it triggered TRIGGER SPOT.”
So for example, my client Bill said to his wife Janna, ‘Janna, when you got critical of our son, I felt HURT.. and it reminded me of my hurt little boy that often got criticized by my mother.’
Second person listens, says ‘thank you for telling me that’, and takes their turn.
No one is right or wrong.
And it creates,
- openness to exploring our reactions
- awareness of our triggers and partners triggers
- safety to explore them
What do you imagine this would be like for couples to do this more often?
Who wants to feel less triggered around your kids?
My hand is raised.
Because I know admitting this and doing the honest work ongoingly is key.
Who’s ready to do it with me?
If so, share with us one thing below that triggers you about your children. No judgment zone here. I’ll do the same.
