Some of you are new and some have been following my story for a while.
I grew up with virtually no role models on how to have Hot Sex, Love and Closeness.. the things my clients don’t just want.. not a nice to have..
…but at some point in the journey, hands down, recognize that they absolutely need and can no longer negotiate their way out of it… believe me.. they’ve tried.
I should know.
I was one of those people.
And that’s why I know how to expertly work with them because I struggled like crazy.
I got into messes with my hubby.
Reactive patterns full of disconnection, pain and heartache.
We simply could not get on the same team at times, because the messes were SO huge and overwhelming {trauma and difficult upbringing, especially on all things relationship didn’t help}.
And there were times I’d want to throw in the towel.
I cried a lot.
And felt lost.
And he got upset.
And felt ashamed…like, shouldn’t we have this figured out by NOW?
Maybe like you think or feel.
And the thing that popped it around?
Deciding THIS.
The Medicine Is In The Mess You Find Yourselves In.
You have to get on the same path about finding your way out of the mess.
And the mess is usually the negative cycle of disconnection you’re probably in right now.
By embracing this, you team up against it.. and diffuse the trouble, pretty quickly.
And then you’re freed up, like we were, to be creative..about the connection we truly desired, the closeness we deserved…
And you literally, can’t tolerate it for another nano second.
It’s come to an urgent, unmanageable, not going to take this for another second HEAD!
You need the connection to get everything you want, and making a commitment to get out of the dark cycle together is what it takes.
That’s what it really takes.
That’s what you have to do.
It’s no longer negotiable.
So tell me, what ONE thing will you commit today to turn your Mess into the Medicine you need to have more closeness and connection?
One thing my hubby and I committed to was to willingly name the negative cycle anytime the mess showed up. We gave our dark cycle a special name, bicker-hurt, coz that’s how it rolled. It made us both laugh, release and get healing.
It can do that for you too.
Author: Joanna Intara
I love cultivating love in relationship.
Make space for love.
Growing love.
Clearing obstacles to love.
And the result?
More love for loving.. myself, my hubby and my family.
More love for healing, for creativity and for energy.
And the best part?
More love when things get rough, vulnerable and challenging…
Because let’s face it.
They will.. or they already are…
And you could just take it…and see how that really turns out…
Or, you can check out our Live Stream (https://www.facebook.com/groups/278275709185342/) where I share it ALL. You get access to me to ask your burning questions.. and I’ll help you GET in your bones.. EXACTLY what you have to do to turn on the love…
…deeper love
…hotter love
…healing love
…luscious love
And find out this one crucial commitment I make every day, and how it shifts EVERYTHING about how I’m receiving Hot Sex, Love and Closeness.
We’ll be covering:
- What to do when you get into messes with your beloved.
- The number ONE attitude you’ve got to have to thrive in relationship.
- How I got from feeling stressed in relationship to feeling happier and more in love.
This is seriously going to be a game changer for you, not some fluffy foo-foo that leaves you hungering and empty for some other fix. I’m going to share with you exactly what to do and how to do it.
Who’s ready for a complete relationship-love uplevel?
Every week, when I work with my current clients, when they do what I’m going to show you… they get exactly what they want in relationship.. on so many levels.. hot sex, love and closeness and they get to take that amazing mojo and skyrocket their creativity and healing in dealing with almost anything, EVEN IF…
- you’re currently struggling with closeness.
- or aren’t feeling connected.
- and wishing you were having tons more hot sex.
- not to mention the big love you desire and deserve.
Find out what they did, and get some yourself. It’s FREE.
So you have no excuses. 😉
Can’t wait to see you there. Where I’m IN corner, you get access to me…and the investment in return of your time is gonna be a whole lotta love like never before…That’s what I KNOW.
Ready to live and open your heart on your growing edges of love ESPECIALLY where you need it a little more of it, in just the way you need and desire it today?
Play with me a little will you?
You see, love IS risky…
And what fires together wires together. This is what neurons are made of.. impulses that become hard-wired and create outcomes based upon what our nervous system can handle…so you want to do the things.. that are in the direction of your desires and needs..
And so…when you create new expressions of love.. and you give it a voice…ESPECIALLY where you need it…and keep doing it…you WILL grow, heal and experience the deeper love that you’ve been desiring and needing.
You’ll be sowing what was formerly edgy with presence, with new expression and that creates more LOVE, more ease with love.. and more capacity to experience it.. not to mention how it helps your partner get more educated as to where you are so they can support you better.
And you want that.. if you’re ready and wanting Hot Sex, Love and Closeness…especially if you’re a parent too…
because kids,
because triggers,
because stress and overwhelm…
And sharing our needs to grow love, to heal with love and cultivate deeper love EXACTLY the way you like it…that’s going to make you get the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness train going.. and then OFF the rails… in the best way.
So who’s going to commit to find the time this week and identify the ONE place inside you, or part inside you to your partner that the love spotlight on it.. whether it’s more love, or different kind of love.. or more attuned kind of love…?
What’s the ONE thing you can do to support yourself in the process? So it can be easier… so you can say it.. and be heard.. and be seen and witnessed.. and create new connections around a risky subject that is worth your attention?
For example, you might share with your partner that you’re feeling tender this week as you share more of your needs, and you might support yourself by softening when you feel reactive instead of checking out.
LMK in the comments…
Sometimes we’ve got to flip the tricky relationship situations on their head.
We can be too smart for love.. and then miss the boat and go ‘WTF just happened there..’
- in a difficult moment
- or month
- or even in a year.. {{ you’d be surprised how often people wait this long or longer!}}
So if you’re feeling the itch right now for:
- greater love between you,
- for holy OMG love…deeper love
- or healing love
Here’s what you can practice.
And you can do it over and over until you feel an aha.. or peace or calm, don’t worry, it comes pretty quickly.
Ready?
Choose the one area that’s in trouble right now.
Speak it out loud.. to yourself and your partner.
And simply ask.
What would love DO?
Over and over.
Keep asking. And listening.
In the middle of the night.. after a bad fight.. ask.. what would love do.. and for many of my clients.. here is what LOVE said..which changed everything…
“So sorry you’re going through this..what might help?”
“How is your body responding… what do you need?”
“Where do you really need me the most?”
Ask kindly, sincerely and answer honestly.
And notice what you find.
Because you will find something the moment you are no longer content to only search for, but never find.
Cause you’re deciding it’s freaking TIME.
And when you do.. you will grow love, your capacity to experience it… your ability to be open for it.. and create vital neural pathways that recondition all the problems that seem outside of love to be found IN love…
But you’ve got to do the practice…
And if you do..the true land or real love will open up for you
And I SO want you to have this love.. it’s seriously the best.. and really, what are you waiting for beloveds so that you can grow the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness that you desire? Even if it seems far away right now.. or not even possible..
You’ve got to start somewhere…
And sometimes.. and if you’re here.. that’s like right now.
So name your commitment this week to practicing what love says…right where you desire it most….
So you can get going…
get the new love muscles in gear…
and growing, healing, repairing, deepening..
and on to bigger loving than ever before…
Hot Sex, Love and Closeness are just right around the corner for you if you’re on this..
And you are..
We’ve got to reduce the shame around admitting places where we feel we need more love, or want more love, and KNOW it would be helpful so we can have more of the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness that we desire.
Yes. It’s vulnerable.
Yes. It’s exposing.
Yes…it may mean being seen more deeply.
But if you want more Hot Sex, Love and Closeness.. there is no other path but in and through this which can feel like a love mine-field. Never know what you’re going to find…
And it can feel scary.
But you’ve got to get more honest and naked with yourself, otherwise your love will stay as it is.. and your precious and deserving desires for more, better and healing love WILL NOT HAPPEN.
So.. you have two choices.
You could keep doing what you’re doing…
But that’s not working..
Or you can try this instead.
Tell me ONE THING you’re ready to commit to, so you can share with your partner this week about what love needs you to do so that you can get the love and closeness you so deeply desire and deserve.
If you need some inspiration, here are a few examples of some things my clients have shared with their partners recently:
- “I really want you to slow down during sex at this vulnerable moment, and convey to me really slowly through your eyes.. your love for me.”
- “When I’m having a bad day, and I’m pissy, I want you to take that as a cue that you need to love me up even more. I’m working on admitting I need that.”
- “I’m really wanting to share more vulnerability with you.. my eyes shift when I do this.. that’s telling me I need a gesture of love from you.. please squeeze me lovingly when you see that.”
If I hear one more relationship break up heart breaker story from people not feeling connected or loved enough, I might cry. Simply, because it doesn’t need to be this way…
Every day my inbox is filled with messages of pain, stuckness and frankly feeling lost about how to cultivate the love people desire in a relationship.
People feel embarrassed…ashamed..like they should know better because in the world of social media, everyone poses only the success not the challenges along the way.
And if that’s you.. let me share this very real example with you.
My client Breck and Mari arrived at my office heartbroken.
Married for five years, a two year old, both had big jobs, both had big histories where love was not a happening thing in their families..
Both were hurt, both wanted to blame, both felt powerless and were beginning to feel hopeless to the point that it put their plans to have a second child on hold.
They seemed to unintentionally trigger all their wounds around love.
This devastated Mari, who wanted nothing more than to walk towards the world of true love, but couldn’t figure out how to get past the power struggle stage that so often happens after the romantic love – honeymoon period is over.
Even though they often came in sad and hurt.
We were razor edge present to what was needed.
And we’d continue to cultivate the inner resources that grew love..
…the capacity to experience love
…the ability to cultivate love
…the resolve to clear ALL obstacles to love {so hard but soo good}
They’d go home and have long conversations with the love-liberation inquiries I’d give them..which they LOVED, and once they started the practice, they kept going.. and this opened them.. expanded them.. and grew the spaces inside that allow love to be born in, grow in..and expand greatly…
- they physically grew their ability to receive love, and initiate the growth of it where needed…
- and when trouble came, their inner love containers were strong, hearty and resilient…
and even though it felt treacherous.. like a serious riptide in the ocean of relationship sailing when trouble came.. (because it will)
and they faced SO many skeletons in the closet, stuff from the past no one could have guessed was in there.
But they were committed.
On it..and determined to triumph.
And they did it.. how I’m sharing with you now.
And their love grew. And they had the cutest baby #2…and were happier than ever.
And they developed a bigger container inside each of them to experience love like they’d never known.
And the learned how to consciously grow even more love. Using practices I taught them that they can repeat again and again as their lives evolve
And to greatly value the process of cultivating the unique love and way of being loved they each desired.
And it was hard.. but oh the payoff was the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness, EXACTLY the way they desired…
That’s why they come to me… because they are ready for it…
Probably just like you are..
And if you are.. tell me the ONE thing you’re committed to doing this week to growing love? Even if it’s as simple as having a two minute pow wow with your beloved in the am before starting the day.. asking.. ‘how would you love to be LOVED today?’
So if you’re…ready for that love that you desire so deeply in your heart and soul.. that you know you can’t settle for, not another second..
I’ve got ONE spot open this week for anyone who is wanting to turn up the hotness, love and intimacy in their love relationship…..even if you haven’t been having it for a while… get on this while there’s openings.. you can tell me any one thing you want help within your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you.
We all want love.
In all the forms it can be – presence, acceptance, compassion, sex, closeness and understanding…all the healing balms.. all the elixirs of Hot Sex, Love and Closeness which are so mission-critical important for healthy partnerships, especially when you have children.
But honestly, it’s very rare that anyone I knew came into adult relationship knowing how to do these things.
We simply are not taught…or if we are, we weren’t taught super well.. and I was no exception, growing up in a household that made space for all the opposite energies of love; conflict, disconnection…I spent many nights wondering what other homes looked like in terms of growing love.
I fantasized about how to value love.. how to feel it.. and how to creatively curate it for your real-world… that you go through, no or low level love moment problems… the kind any of us can be susceptible to getting into any time.
And then I set about to grow it.
And it was painful.. it hurt… I felt so lost.. and disconnected from the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness that I desired..
And my hubby too.. he had similar struggles… and we got to adult relationship and were like, “OMG, how do we do this better, and become closer, and more intimate.”
And I’m glad I was persistent, because it paid off BIG TIME.
And it was a battle sometimes between love and the energies that were OUTSIDE of love.
Those were the hardest moments of all… cold, sad and painful!
Know what I mean?
And we had to work at it.
And learn how to
- grow love to be a resource for us, to catch us when we fall and to be the home we always come back to.
- to recognize when love was missing.
- so that we could come back to it as quickly as possible.
I remember a night, actually many nights..where he said something that upset me…and I used to get irritated when I was upset.. so I got irritated…and he got annoyed…and that was painful..BUT because of the work I did here, we one day had inner CONTAINERS, that could hold us… the could carry us..
- INTO connection and OUT of disconnection.
- INTO a shared universe, one made out of love
And we turned the corner on that one…too.
We had to open our hearts even more.. to our desires, to the parts that needed healing, to the little ones within us that would run the other way.
And while it pushed us.. it was so worth it..
Every commitment we made, every time we valued the growing work of love and the awareness to keep it, so we could return to it more easily and simply all the time..
THAT was the gift.
The same one I want you and my clients to experience…
So that you can have all the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you desire.. even if you haven’t been having it lately..
Hope is not lost..
But you’ve got to start somewhere beautiful soul…so what ONE thing will you do to growing love with your partner this week?
I’ll give you one recommendation in the comments! And if you feel a little too vulnerable commenting, feel free to PM me!
This is gonna be good.
I’ve got ONE spot open this week for anyone who is wanting to turn up the hotness in their love relationship..even if you haven’t been having it for a while… get on this while there’s openings.. you can tell me any one thing you want help with in your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you.
Well that was a HOT blast yesterday.
We always have so much FUN on our live streams.. sometimes I share stories, and get personal and practical so that you can get THIS.. Hot Sex, Love and Closeness that you so deeply desire and deserve…
Feeling a bit disheartened today about it?
Or maybe you’ve had just about enough of not having the hot steamy love making you’ve been fantasizing about…
And you’re finally ready to know exactly what to DO to get it…
I’m telling you.. you get to have it.. but first you’ve GOT to make the space to:
- Start evaluating and growing your inside spaces that you EACH and together hold about hot sex, how you make room for it, make time for it…
- Find out what those spaces needs to be safe, what they need, want, desire.
- How to convert these curiosities into, great date night conversations.. and really fun and steamy conversations as well…how to have them slowly.. with lots of presence, eye contact..and move them into great soulful fore-play.
- Put all this into words, clear communication and what to do to create the structures to support it..so you can be on your way to Hot Sex, Love and Closeness.
- Deepen your space so you can have hot, steamy love …. by going into your attitudes, feelings, instincts, conditioning…and flip the switch on the hotness fandango.
Want some?
Ready to FINALLY get your hot sexy you know exactly WHAT.. on the steamy love road..??
Come and play with us.. have FUN.. and prepare to be delighted because I’m going to give you ALL I have on this subject.. and it’s going to move the needle for you.
Can’t wait to see you there..
When things have become not so fresh in the bedroom.. and feel stale.. or you’re ready to spice things up.. and experience MORE of the Hot Sex that you desire…
there’s a lot of things you COULD think to do…
and upping the vulnerability, transparency and openness factor in relationship to your desires ALWAYS goes a long way.
So, at the right moment…
What would happen IF you shared a Sexual Desire to your partner that you previously haven’t disclosed…
it could be around frequency
or intensity
or role play
or need for healing
or expression
or fantasy play out
or release
or next level safety
It’s all in the field of discussions when it comes to sexual desire, hotness.. chemistry…
Just as long as you’re willing and deciding to have the conversations and connection it takes to value it, make space for it.. and breathe it into life.
What’s ONE thing you can think of right now that you already want to discuss?
That thing…
Start there…
Maybe make it a weekly practice…or a daily one… {see what happens}
And watch what exciting hotness reveals itself to you…
Are you committed to sharing one desire with your partner this week? Why or why not? Tell me below and I’ll personally PM you some feedback or encouragement.
All my couples and clients often wish they had more fun ways to PLAY with changing the struggle into the solution.
Tired and fed up from not having enough hot sex.
To.
Holy OMG steamy, smoldering, blissful and soul-satisfying HOT Sex.
And if you want just ONE thing you can do this week.. Start HERE.
First, get in a shared space with your beloved.
Take a few deep breaths together while maintaining eye contact.
And then take turns, sharing on one area of your sex life on the
- desires that haven’t been spoken
- needs that need to be expressed
- any hold backs that haven’t been shared yet
- and one thing you’d like from your partner to support this
- with the one thing you’re committed to working on to help it.
Thank your partner when they share with you.
What’s ONE chunk of time (little or big) you’re willing to make in your calendar this week for each other for this?
And feel into THIS…
Imagine…being known more deeply, understood more intricately and to know and get your partner more deeply as well.
Imagine the difference in intimacy.. with all these parts…
Imagine being seen more closely…truly.. in THIS realm.. one that matters SO much..
And let it sink in HOW good it will feel to make this more than a one time occasion practice…
Ahh…..exhale…
Share a thumbs up below if you want to make the commitment to making this shared time happen this week! Even just 5 minutes of it!