Author: Joanna Intara

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Blog Love

What Would Love Say?

The disconnection.. gross or subtle.
The wishing you had more love between you…
The rub that doing real relationship work sometimes brings…

I’m pretty sure that whatever situation you’ve got going on in relationship now will be remedied by this practice that I’m super excited to share with you, that I’ve worked actively on in my own relationship for years and it STILL gives me so much goodness.

Ask < < <
What parts of myself or our relationship are separate from love?

BE open.
BE curious.
BE undefended.

Over and over.

It will reveal, and you will feel all the feels that go with it.. but bringing love into every separate place is the work, and it’s only going to make everything better.

I promise you.

It IS a practice though so you do have to actually do it and if you want more love, easier love, more for filling and more satisfying love, isn’t it worth doing this one small thing?

Can’t wait to hear the ONE most surprising thing you discover.

I LOVE this practice so much and when my clients do it, they tell me how much goodness comes their way too.

Categories
Blog Love

THIS Is What To Do To Create Hot Sex, Love And Closeness Tonight.

I don’t want you to miss this opportunity to find out how to open up to big time love in your relationship, even if it’s been feeling challenging lately.

Which is why I want to share with you the brilliant discussion we had in our group.

Every week I hear about couples and individuals, wanting…needing to have the relationship be easier, lighter and more inflow.

They struggle with disconnection or not enough of the right kind of connection, with not enough of the right kind of sex, they want (and need) to feel the juicy yumminess of closeness and true emotional intimacy. And gosh do I know about this because it was deeply part of my struggle that I have gone through and thank God and Amen, have come out the other side.

This is an issue of pandemic proportions…because as a culture we haven’t been taught yet, how to really do these things, and it’s not like the Home Economics class in high school gave you much to utilize here, but they should! (I mean the extent of our class, was a little hollowed out egg called Eggby, that was to be our child – we even decorated them, and had little baskets for them, and had to make sure they weren’t kidnapped..I digress, but you get the point – no training!)

Which is exactly why I went live in my Hot Sex, Love and Closeness for Parents and Couples group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/278275709185342/.

We’ve got you covered for real. We explored;

  • what to do to help you close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, so you can get closer with your beloved tonight.
  • how to be super embodied in this ONE thing, so you can actually feel the difference.
  • and exactly what to do to begin bringing it into your relationship TODAY.

In our Facebook Group (come on over!), we’re an engaged, honest group of awesome humans, just like you, parents, couples, all trying to sincerely find our way…learning growing and never forgetting for a moment that the keys to the love and peace we seek in relationship lies inside of us.. and the decisions we make to grow and take charge of the desires we have. They were put in you or your relationship for a reason, you know?

And I know I’m the best person to help you because of the massive education, training and experience I have, along with the sheer quality and number of success stories you can find on my testimonial pages.

So are you going to spend another night in the struggle.. or are you going to do what I did, to get the relationship I have, and LEAN into the layers of support you deeply need?

I’ll see you there.

Categories
Blog Love

How Deep Is Your Love For…

How deep is your love for a loving relationship that’s filled with even more LOVE?

100% of my clients would love to have more love in their relationships…

  • between each other
  • in the hard places
  • in the tender places
  • in the hurt places
  • deep in the growing and stretching
  • and even in the tired places…it makes that much of a difference.

And how did they all get what they needed?

Devotion.

Dedication.

And Decision.

To become it.

It works like that…

So in all honesty, how much devotion, dedication and decision are you embodying when it comes to where YOU need more love in your relationship?

Devotion meaning… staying committed even when it’s hard. Even when it’s not pretty, fun or popular. Especially when it’s messy.

Dedication meaning showing up for your partner each day….Committing to doing the work where it’s needed, even if it stretches you, even if it makes your heart open even more, even if you don’t think you can bear it, this is where new structure is formed.

THAT is what matters.

It’s probably the only thing that matters.

Categories
Blog Love

It’s Not Cliche’ To Focus On Love, It’s THIS Instead.

John and Jill (not their real names, protected for privacy) had been in a marriage for 12 years.

Both had done a considerable amount of inner work, personal therapy, coaching and spiritual work, as most of my clients have done.

They have three children, who weren’t so little anymore, and more time and space had opened up for their relationship.

They came in wanting to feel closer, a lot more loving and felt like there was plenty room to spice up the sex as well.

But there was a hardness about them, a way they felt dry and distant, and it sent quivers through my spine, which I wonder about.

John started, looking hopeful to me for some tenderness, which leads me to wonder what’s going on with things like compassion, empathy, repair, and open heartedness.

Jill seemed to feel edgy and insecure.

And over our sessions it tumbled out through tears that there were quite a number of semi unfinished hurts, injuries, and things that just hadn’t felt really healed in their relationship. And they had convinced themselves that it didn’t really matter that much.

These nicks at their relationship ran both ways.

And with kids, it was easy to prioritize them, but what was even more true was that they needed to prioritize each other and help resolve the hurts once and for all.

Both of them had gotten used to being a little harder and more cut off, but the distant looks and the pain they felt about it spoke volumes to me and I brought up what I noticed in the room and asked them what their relationship was like in the area of love.

I specifically kept it general, because I wanted to hear where they would go and I trusted that the ready to come forward issues would be arriving shortly as they did. (and always do!)

“I feel like you’ve lost love for me…”

“Our love has dwindled…do we even still love each other?”

“Do you still love me…?”

“”Why did we put so much aside, and what do we do now?”

That last question was important in particular (the other ones were too) and from all years of pretty much everything I’ve trained in and practiced, I feel like the one thing I do over and over again is to help people return to love.

With themselves.
With each other.
With their inner parts.
With their magic and creativity.
With their resources.
With their true nature.

Over and over again…so I asked them this time, as the power of inquiry has taught me,

What would love say?
What would love do?
And how can we bring love back and into every place that really needs.

So if you’re wondering what to do, when love feels thin, do what John and Jill did.

It worked very well, it was simple, not over thinking or complicated.

They were devoted, dedicated and decided.

They closed the gaps.

They brought in all the love.

They grew closer, happier, and SOFTER.

And, MORE in love thank they could have ever imagined. Yes, they were in love before, but do you even realize how much even more being in mad love is even possible?

Isn’t it your turn?

Who’s willing to take a risk and do this too?

Categories
Blog Love

Are You Really Going To Dismiss The Power Of Growing Love?

One thing I’ve noticed with being of service to clients over the last three decades is how much the basics of relationship get dismissed as corny!

Or cliche’ so people discount it.

Why do you think people do that?

Truth is, we shouldn’t do that.

We need to trust the damn essence of all these things, like love, because they lead us down the royal road to what we all desire most.

Especially in relationship, love and how it happens (or doesn’t) is what I hear about all the time.

It’s also what I’ve focused on… and had to learn because honestly it just wasn’t that easy for me.

With some of you, I’ve shared that I got very LITTLE training on how to do solid hot sex, love and closeness relationship growing up.

I always knew I was destined for a love for the ages, for all time.. and I’m certainly living that now… but truthfully it wasn’t always that way.

The way that I had been taught was to disconnect from love and go to fear when I was triggered, to go to identification with some story.

And it was a well-grooved pattern that created more fear and feeling of lovelessness and then more desire for more love.. the wounds and injuries of wanting more love, needing more love, feeling unhappy about it not being there…

That was a hard time for both of us…and it was a sad time, and we thought it should be easy, but it really wasn’t.

I felt alone, afraid, unintelligent and a bit ashamed. And my hubby felt similar, which created a fearful, loveless funhouse hall of mirrors.

And then one day, the beautiful mystic that he is.. he brought home this gorgeous quote from saying from the great Indian sage,
Sri Nisargadatta,

“The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.”

We had to take that in.. super deeply.

We’d talk about how to bring it forward.. the love.. the heart.. the care…

And bring it through absolutely every place where there was;

  • separation between us,
  • fear between us,
  • conflict between us,
  • edgy spots between us,
  • blocks between us,

We had to keep going.. like sew it in everywhere.

We had to be vigilant, lest the old patterns arise with a vicious uprising.

We’d say, “just love, just here, just right now…”, maybe we spoke that like a thousand times.. or more..sometimes still do.

He brought me many loving gifts of flowers during that period of time. And told me all the things he loved about me, a lot!

I’d find out how he needed to be loved…and love him like that.

We asked that all places in us, between us and inside each of us that were separate from love, be brought inside of love’s embrace.

We’d ask,

How can we bring love into this place, where love feels small?

Or this place, where love feels dry?

Or this place, where things felt cool or cold?

Maybe these are things you can ask yourself, if you want more love in the places that are calling it for you.

The sweetness of taking this love into our thoughts, our feelings, our hearts, our bodies and our souls was profoundly healing. It brought us closer, much closer, in love, in closeness and in hot sex, for sure!

What a gift.

I want you to have it too!

What’s a way you’d like to experience greater love THIS week?

I’m going to see love as an image in my head, let it appear…and then meditate on it, bring it into my body and then let that inform everything. I’m super excited to feel this because I KNOW it’s only going to lead to goodness and yumminess.

Categories
Blog Soul Fulfillment

3 Myths About Soul Lessons In Relationship And How to Navigate.

You’ve been fed a big fat lie about relationships.

And Hollywood has sealed the lie by often making relationship look easier to navigate that it can be.

Look, you’re human. You have conditioning.

You have karma, whatever it is.

It may not be what you lead with, but you still have it, and at some point in your relationship journey, you will have to deal with it.

And before you even subscribe to any of these myths, I’m here to bust them so you can get straight on track, right now and get closer to the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you actually desire. (And c’mon, somewhere in there you need it too, if you admit it.)

One.

It’s going to be easy all the time.
>> umm, no… that’s a lie you’ve been fed by Hollywood and those Social Media starlets that only ever post pictures of perfection. #notrealistic. Just sayin’.

Two.

You don’t have to grow, you can just coast on what you have.
>> show me one relationship that’s like that, that hasn’t ever hit a pocket of humanity, conditioning or some kind of karma getting worked out. There’s a place you HAVE to be willing to do the work.

Three

You can be in a god realm all the time and never have to deal with any humanity.
>> umm, another big NO. I think that’s called #spiritualbypass, and it has a nasty lash-back called drama, which often goes along with trauma. So you’ve got to clear and do your trauma work.

And the best part? Actually doing this release work is EXACTLY what gives you the foundation to begin to have the relationship love, sex and deep closeness you desire and you need support from someone who is aware (and very keen) of these myths and how they disguise themselves to you.. and I’m here to help you move right on through them.

Which one of the myths have you been feeding on? Ready to release the weight of it? Who’s in?

Categories
Blog Soul Fulfillment

Only The Brave Will Do THIS, Are You One of THEM?

Soul lessons (in relationships) are NO freakin’ joke.

They can put you through the ringer of your humanity until you get the teaching and return to your true self.

It’s just how it is.

Until it isn’t.

And there’s a way to get to the isn’t part..

Ready?

Only the brave and those who are truly ready to transform their relationship struggles do this..

Own your relationship soul lessons with your partner. All of them that you can recall. Even the ones from prior relationships. Go all the way in the sharing. Take massive responsibility for your part. All they need to do is simply listen to you.

For example, you might share that you you could have gone deeper to own your part when your hubby get frustrated with you, but at the time you never owned how you may make the process more difficult…instead choosing to be quieter and less accountable than you could be…a really good one to own..(I hear something like this a lot.)

Or, you might share that you could have gone deeper when your partner shared a difficult experience with you the other week and instead of giving 100% empathy, you held back some as you were preoccupied or still hurt from something else the week before.. so sharing how when you get hurt, you hold back empathy or don’t give it full on.. that’s a deep one..

And then, if they’re willing (and daring) they do it with you.

Go after all the parts.

See what happens to your relationship.

If it still feels sticky, you missed something.

Repeat.

Let me know how it goes.

Categories
Blog Soul Fulfillment

It’s Not About Emotional Intelligence.. It’s About THIS Instead.

When things feel really painful between you and your partner, you can feel like, wtf, where are we going and how do we navigate this so that we can get through it, WELL?

You can scroll and ignore this, because you’re so ‘busy,’ and yes, you are…but what’s going to anchor you, keep the challenges evolving in a good way and get lots of integration happening to help get on with having all the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you desire, (Let’s face it, you have needs and they’re not going away anytime soon.)

Here’s what to do now.

Make it a practice this week to keep the dialogue alive with your partner on these questions –

>>>What are the soul lessons through this challenge?<<<
>>>What am I learning?<<<
>>>What parts of myself am I being asked to open to?<<<

Ask.
Listen.
Integrate.

I guarantee you, the struggle, the rub, the challenge, the edge.. Whatever it is for you.. It CAN’T stay the same.

IF you do the work.. To be in relationship.. with what’s there.. The lessons, the opening, the inner parts…all of it!

That’s it.

There are those that do the work and get the results..The Hot Sex, Love and Closeness yumminess you’ve been deeply desiring and craving…

And there are those that will sit in the discomfort and do nothing. They’ll end up with the same feelings of hopelessness, struggle and frustration that’s slow motion strangling your relationship and all the goodness in it.

And if you’re ready to do the soul work you know you need to release the tension.. This is what it requires.. And I want to know who’s ready to do it?

Categories
Blog Soul Fulfillment

How Honest Are You About Your Soul Lessons In Relationship?

We always have a fantastic time on our live streams and yesterday was no exception.

Can we be honest about relationship for a real minute?

There’s a point in every relationship (no matter how wonderful they are) where there can be challenges, disconnection and BIG lessons.

I’ve had an amazing relationship (and I need amazing :-))…and I only know what that is because I’ve also had unfathomable challenging and stretching to grow, from deep within my soul.

Ever had that?

If you have, you want to keep growing and you want to keep learning. But what do you do when you’re not sure what’s happening deep into your soul and the lessons it is trying to learn?

Most of my clients know they’re on a soul journey whether it’s work, business or relationship. A journey of the soul that takes them through their purpose and their evolutionary lessons.

But sometimes they’re so hard to tease out, aren’t they? And you wonder how to make it easier.

Which is exactly why I went live to help you to;

– KNOW how to identify the soul lessons that are coming up for you and catapult your relationship into ease.
– GET stronger so you can face what’s in front of you and turn it into gold which you then get to use to support you ongoingly.
– WHAT to do when you need grounding and support and this is going to anchor you into exactly what you need to turn things around.

Look, it’s easy to go at this alone. That’s the norm. And you can do that IF you can hang with the stress in a good way that’s working for you.

Or, you can check out the live stream and get the resources you need instead.

I know which one I’d chose, and it’s what led me to the love, sex and closeness, which I (and you) deserve.

Can’t wait to see you there.

Categories
Blog Soul Fulfillment

Do You Want To Get Through Your Relationship Soul Lessons And On To Great Hot Sex, Love And Closeness?

I’m always fascinated by the way couples come into the room.

I observe the eye contact, the walk, the energy.. And it often foreshadows the session.

Like my clients Lori and John… they seemed a bit ashamed, and wanted to be dignified. They were reluctant to come in, and yet knew they needed to.

They had an EPIC falling in love period, and that was over and now they had two kids, two self employed businesses and wanted to have things be easier… as sex has fizzled, love felt weary and intimacy felt thin.

They kept getting stuck…and owned they didn’t want to feel like victims to their shadows, but acknowledged that they did.

They wanted to feel empowered, they considered themselves ‘woke’, and thought they were smarter than this struggle.

They were smart, but from my years of training, I know there are many kinds of smart – instinctual intelligence, emotional intelligence, intuitive wisdom, karmic wisdom and creative wisdom…and they really needed support on how to access the wisdom in their soul…and for these particular challenges they were having right now.

I’ve studied with some of the most genuine spiritual teachers, who taught me the tremendous value of inquiry…the practice to access the deeper layers of the self.. (if you don’t know this.. You’ll want to)

And so with this couple, we sat with the difficult question…

How intimate are you with the lessons from the difficulties in your relationship?

What are the soul lessons that come with the difficulty in your relationship?

We asked that questions many times. We all listened together. We listened with heart, mind, body and soul. We heard the different responses. We sat with the struggle together. They learned it could be tolerated. We got the clarity – and they used the intelligence they had in one area to access the wisdom from their soul here.

And from there, it was integration time.

We took the clarity, and then helped that get resourced in the body, in the nervous system, in the heart and the mind.

And from there, creativity flowed on what to do next.

They went from feeling stuck in their heads, to feeling more open in their hearts. And from thinking they each knew exactly what was going on into a curiosity that loosened the tight grip of their thoughts that caused conflict and contraction.

I loved watching them get happier and more loved up looking 😉. Their energy in our space together was palpably more connected, viscerally alive, present, clear and extremely creative. It was like all the lights turned on, excitement about being together and the future was present. So exciting.. And I want the whole world to have it.

Including you.

Honestly, it doesn’t have to be hard, it is simply a process away and I know I’m the best person to help guide you through the trenches so you can have it too.

Tell me what’s ONE thing you’ll do this week to start to listen more deeply to your soul. I can’t wait to hear what it is.

And.. I’ve got ONE spot open this week for anyone who is really working hard to address the soul lessons that are coming up in their relationship, and know there has to be an easier path… Get on this while there’s an opening.. you can tell me any one thing you want help within your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you.