Category: Blog

Maybe this has happened to you…you were looking forward to Saturday night with your beloved, music on, scrumptious, savory take-out coming and fragrant candles lit. He/She starts inching towards you, closer, wanting to nuzzle up, you, on the other hand, notice that you’re starting to pull away, into yourself, feeling hard, because there’s quite a few hurts that aren’t fully resolved and you’re just not sure how to speak about it without getting reactive.

You wish you could speak clearly, but you feel stuck in overwhelm, resentment, and your body is buzzing with sensations that make no sense and they feel like they’re pulling you into a dark part of your heart or you just want to fight or react in intensity.

If only you could navigate that better, and learn how to own and share about your hurt in a good way, a clear way, that represents how you feel, while feeling safe about being that vulnerable.

How?

It’s super important for us all to acknowledge that we do not process hurt as a human race and when we let this truth in deeply, there’s compassion and forgiveness that starts to grow.

All we have to do is look at this world! People retaliate in hurt. Hurt people hurt others back. People fight wars because they are hurt. People abuse substances because they are hurt. People try to control others when they are hurt. People get angry when they are hurt. I could go on and on with the sheer amount of destructive behaviors I see when people are hurt. So much is organized around not saying we are hurt because if we do, we can be afraid that bad things can happen, or ‘they’ whoever is in that position can kick us when we are down. Letting this truth in is so massively understanding, compassionate and forgiving for how human we actually are and yet still acknowledging that we are still navigating how to do this. Yes, you might need to be reminded of this many times, but it’s necessary and when you let it deeply in, there’s a compassion and forgiveness that starts to grow.

Of course, acknowledgement is only the first step. But if we don’t see the cultural contexts where we are coming from, how do we ever create real connection with our hurt? So when we take in where we are coming from, the culture, from our head down to our toes, that we are literally dealing with thousands of years of conditioning that we don’t process hurt well as humans yet, this is normalizing, which is a relief. It’s also fascinating which makes us have awe and wonder, far better than reactivity. Then we can at least have a moment to ask ourselves, “am I operating from this cultural conditioning, was I raised within that culture?” Most likely the answer is yes. How does that feel? How does that land in our hearts? What does that open up for any of us?

We don’t realize that context DOES create connection. Think about every connection you have with anything. Your hurt feelings come from somewhere. Where? What conditioning? What training did you have around hurt? It’s not some magical thing that just popped up overnight. Seeing where it comes from and asking these questions creates relationship, and that then in turn creates intimacy with those things, and then with the problem, and eventually that creates love because at least you are IN dialogue with it, you are opening up to it. It’s kind, it’s inclusive and it’s non negotiable, every single time.

And this is the desired state far more than the disconnection state; to be in relationship with the hurt. Connecting to the hurt. Relating to the hurt. Making space for the hurt. Looking into it with more observation, awareness and curiosity. Hardly any of us are taught to do that, let alone do it well.

That connection creates understanding. And we cannot have more softness or healing without it. Understanding is like the giant mental and emotional container, like an upside down umbrella, that holds all the pieces. It is containing. It is unifying. That understanding then gets brought to the hurt. It changes your words. It changes what you say about your hurt. It changes what you say to your partner. And even more so, how they respond.

And that understanding creates forgiveness and compassion that starts to grow through the relationship. Because when you create a big enough container inside you, and your partner does too, all the pieces of the dynamic are held present there in that container. That is the stand that is under everything = understanding. And when you have enough of that, you have space to create something new, space to create a choice or intention, space to create compassion, space to express that, and space to see your partner and yourself or the dynamic more clearly.

To sum up:

Receiving that we don’t do hurt well gives us much needed context.

That context creates connection

Instead of disconnection

That connection creates understanding

That understanding creates forgiveness and compassion that starts to grow through the relationship…

Now if you want soul satisfying sex, love and closeness, the kind you’ve been craving, you HAVE to learn how to deal with hurt in a relationship. Otherwise, you have resentments, mind games and a hardened heart in an invulnerable relationship. That goes only one place, and not a good one. When you liberate the dark protections of hurt into love, into tenderness, into vulnerability and safety to express it, into presence, into connection, into understanding compassion and forgiveness what do you get back? You get back MASSIVE life force energy, you get back massive (what I call, love force energy), you get back tenderness and the precious sweetness that goes along with that. And with those qualities, you get to easily connect, you get intimacy, you basically can create whatever love, sex and intimate partnership that you want… And so which version of that do you want….?

In my 3 month private, hybrid 1:1 and group program, I help coaches, entrepreneurs and professionals figure out how to specifically unearth, roto rooter, dissolve, heal and rewire the most disconnecting, painful, long-standing and entangled of hurt patterns and then move from the fallout and failing to give each other what the relationship needs to thrive in this area, into real, sustainable, sex love and closeness that embodies a tenderness like you’ve never known. Life is too short to not have this precious gift in your partnership. In addition, we develop and embody the resources to forgive and thoroughly rewire this healing balm through the patterns in a way that’s essential and compassionate. PM me if you’re interested and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

Some of you know I shared yesterday that my hubby and I are celebrating 17 years of our first date which is today.

So exciting and I’m so happy right now.

We had a blast going out last night, in our little town, which has shifted all the restaurants outside with tables and chairs, right on the Petaluma river which winds it’s way through the north west part of town, shifting the human connection all the way outside, just like how it feels in Europe.

Needless to say, I’m totally charmed, and it’s reflecting how I feel on the inside as well..

But how?

I’ve always felt such a strong call for the power of romantic relationship – but not a relationship of convenience or convention, no! Not for me.

Nor was the romance only relationship going to lure me in either….

But an evolutionary partnership – led by the individual and shared desires of the soul to be fully liberated in all the ways, that call has always charmed me.

And one of the things I loved, when I met Noah, just about 17 years ago for the first time, was that he was down for the same ride.

It was felt.

And it was igniting.

Catalyzing.

Transforming.

Ecstatic.

And ultimately continues to be liberating.

So today, I’ve been writing and wanted to share the 17 things that have been linchpin keys we’ve identified, some separately and some together that make for soul-satisfying love.

1. Wanting the same thing ultimately. No matter what we went into when I wanted something from him (the role I’ve played more), or he wanted something from me, ultimately what we wanted together and/or for or from the other person always (underneath any defended layers) was always the same thing. Do you truly want the same things?

2. Equal passion regarding work and contribution. My husband is crazy passionate about work – he’s currently in the process of getting two of his genius creations funded and he’s intoxicated with the creative process. As am I, with mine. A huge desired outcome from all this is not only to contribute time and love but also money into projects that require financial backing. This shared value is HUGE.

3. Insane Sexual Chemistry. This was undeniable when we met and has continued on to this day. And no, it is not every minute, but it IS available when we come together, and it’s still as strong and stronger and wilder than ever, and it’s even better than our honeymoon period which was pretty smokin’. Even when we have gone through difficult patches (and we’ve had plenty) or places where we were challenged, we still cherished that our chemistry never wavered – because ultimately what we wanted was the same.

4. Indestructible Faith That There Was More For Us Beyond Any Challenge. We have faced some gnarly stuff in our relationship. Some very complex trauma on both sides and it took tremendous wisdom and love to see those parts through. This indestructible faith is a necessary ingredient because every couple will have challenges beyond the honeymoon phase and the question is what will guide you through that? Whatever that is – find that thing and take refuge in it like your relationship depends on it, because it does.

5. Unconditional Love For The Shadows. Let us be wise to expect that there will be shadows of all different flavors and textures. Some grand and colorful, and some so subtle you’ll wonder how they’ll ever get sorted out (they will!). And that every great love will invite forward everything that is and was ever outside of love. Remember, great karmas can be undone in the context of great love so if this is you…let that unconditional love be a container and sweet holding.

6. Spiritual Awakening + Liberation Desires Are Shared. Ultimately what has worked for us is being on the same page and clear with our desires for freedom. In ALL the places. And, we cherish and champion that for each other, even if it has challenged us. We take a solid stand for the sovereignty for the other to support this freedom.

7. Parenting Values Shared. I did not think I wanted kids when I met Noah. But he saw more than me. I had even said in my dating profile, one kid, maybe one day, if it’s RIGHT. He said simply, they’ll be two (love that masculine knowing and putting it right out there – we were just together two months), but that right part included those values being shared, which we clarified well before having kids and getting closer and intertwined with our lives. We never fight about the kids, and our only conflict is when they trigger something unfinished in one of us that is unconscious – which let’s face it, it always is our stuff as parents that plays out with our kids, for the most part, it’s hardly ever them on their own. Of course, there are exceptions.

8. Grow The Resources Needed To Govern The Issues. Because there will be issues. Many of them. And some you’ll feel on top of. And some you’ll be like WTF just happened and how did this get so entangled. At different times, different parts of you will get activated. Some times it will be mental, emotional, body, spiritual, sexual, financial, family etc. Identify the resources that are needed to carefully attend to YOUR needs..take the time to do that. Grow and develop those resources. They will become like precious jewels to help nourish and heal your marriage in the places that need it.

9. Prioritize US Time. One of my fears of having children was they would come first. But again, my hubby said, ‘No, we come first.” I was about to disqualify him from being my partner, but then he explained more. “Without us, there is no them. We come first.” I trusted him, and even though I wasn’t sure how it would all play out, we committed to date nights, mutual care, practices, rituals and ceremony together, the things we know that nurture us and give us what we need. Before Covid we would do overnights, hire a babysitter, and we’ve had a few 8 or so days away with just us – the last one being in Jamaica (gosh I miss that land) where we renewed our vows in 2018.

10. Embrace The Power of Forgiveness + Compassion. There is going to be hurt. It will be impossible not to have some hurts or injuries in your marriage or partnership unless you are both Mother Theresa in spirit, but for the rest of us humans, we hurt and we hurt each other. And that’s not the problem, but what is for many couples is the process of repair, forgiveness and understanding. Find out how to do your version of yours. It will be a blessing to you both and provide the necessary medicinal salve that you will absolutely need. The repair process gives so much life to a relationship when there has been hurt and it’s worth its weight in gold to learn how to do it really well.

11. Know There Will Be Many Marriages/Relationships Within The One. I kind of feel like we are entering our 4th marriage. The first one was the honeymoon. ‘I’m crazy about your marriage. The second one was the marriage of all our traumas and intersecting injuries and wounds. The third was the marriage of us that would overcome all that and take us to the promise land of true love. And the fourth one we are integrating now is the marriage of real and abiding, true love. I’m sure there will be more.

12. Respect The Impact & Power of Trauma and Ancestral Issues & Address Them From The Root On Out Into Your Life. Unless you are one of the less than 5% of the population that had secure early attachment, chances are, there will be trauma or difficult early conditioning imprints to careful attend to, and there’s no more place that they will show up that in an intimate partnership. Take them seriously, and please, don’t try to heal them alone. Honestly. Prioritize healing these because they absolutely run the show and even though they may look gnarly from the outside, (and they can certainly feel that way), the reason for my urgency is this. They will keep wrecking some kind of drama/trauma havoc on your precious love until you attend to them, and liberate them fully for the life force they contain for your love, your work, your family and all life.

13. Cultivate The Creative & The Sacred Separately & Together. One of the things I love about myself, my hubby and our connection is the depth of creativity we share. We are both into music, he plays and I sing, I paint, make jewelry, and amazing magical meals (he’s an expert dishwasher loader, lol). He invents new systems and magical worlds both in his work and that we get to enjoy together. Find out what these things are, and grow them. They become a resource and deep source of support and container-ship when difficult material arises. Creative practices help grow the muscles on the inside to do relationship easier, and you can never have too many of those, right?

14. Be & Develop Presence, Even If You Think You Already Have It. I can’t say enough about this. Sometimes I think, if only the world had more of JUST THIS ONE THING, then everything. would be easier. Presence can be one of those things. The ability to simple BE with what IS, over and over, because we all know, there are plenty of places that are going to come and want your attention and the difference in dynamics versus peace is whether you are going to give it presence or not. Still, there are places where my hubby and I keep giving each other opportunities in our triggered places to develop more and more presence.

15. Keep Learning About Each Other. Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically and Sexually. Do not fall into the trap of thinking you’ve got it all figured out. My inner precocious one has been humbled here back into a state of wonder and innocence. I expect to be learning til the day I die, and then some. BE in a state of wonder and innocence about it all – all the things, and if you aren’t, that’s a good clue as to where the work is. Do that work, because learning is so much better than drama and righteousness. And even more than that, the payoff is more vitality, which let’s face it, as we get older is a welcome resource.

16. Have & Create Rituals To Nourish Your Lives. My hubby has led the way here; couples rituals, kids rituals, celebration rituals, learning how to do things rituals (often accompanied by ridiculous singing on his part), healing and repair rituals, letting go rituals, abundance rituals, purification rituals, rituals where we needed honoring. I am sure we will create more as we need them. They bring everyone together in the family, reinforce the power of the social nervous system and in general make everyone happy. What are some of yours that you love?

17. Lean Into Support – Multiple Layers. I can share with you right now, honestly, that I wouldn’t still be married and thriving today if it weren’t for the multitude of mentors, guides, counselors, wise women and men that have guided our journey, both together and separately, and as a family. We are NOT meant to do this alone. We used to have tribes that supported every aspect of daily life, but now we are all so segregated and separated. This is NOT normal and it hurts us and creates more separation in places where we already feel separate, either from each other, or our inner resources than can help us flourish and move through trauma/drama, wounding, injuries and crisis.

What’s one thing from this list you resonate with?

Even one thing from this list will help you if you embody it deeply, but all 17 create the Divine, yet sustainable love affair of a lifetime that makes life, especially right now, worth living and being thrilled about.

Do you have something to add?

LMK in the comments.

We’ve still got some spaces left in my new program, Divine Connection Alchemy, that focuses on cultivating exactly the epic and soulful sex, love and connection you’re wanting to have from the inside out, from the ground up, and from soul all the way out into your life.

You’re invited and I would love to have you.

I’m cut out to deal with very huge and complex emotions and it’s a perfect fit for me, because those who have them and struggle in relationships know they’ll get through them with me and make their relationship be what they’ve always wanted them to be?

I always hear from my clients their desires. They spill forward like coveted, heart warming secrets of their deepest longings. Right from their soul, their spirit – whatever THAT place is that you call it.

More love.

More intimacy.

More mind-blowing, smokin’ hot sex.

Like my client (who for privacy sake – I NEVER reveal anyone’s name online unless they offer permission) Laura.

Who struggled with this immensely.

And it was not happening with all the usual methodology we’ve all been taught.

Mindset.
Repeat.
Insight.
Repeat.
LOA.
Repeat.
Insight
Repeat.

NOTHING WORKED!

No gains were happening.

She felt like a failure.

Had no idea how to forgive.
Or understand herself.
Or fix the issue.

Frustrated and confused, she sobbed in her pain and confusion. It hurt.

But the one thing that she had never looked at, that had been the most instrumental in creating this challenge, was not truly facing her deepest experiences of losses.

She did not know how to do that, or to feel safe enough to do it.

But this is where I shine.

Because I know how to help the roots of our ‘feeling good’ center be safe enough to feel loss and letting go.

Not just a momentary rush of tears, but a deep heart of safety that truly LETS OUT WHAT IS OURS TO LET OUT.

Let that sink in.

Letting out what’s ours to let out.

Is a deep process.

That takes great safety.

It also takes a potency of other resources gathering…INTO the body…

Resources such as..

• Utilizing the social nervous system created in our healing relationship to recondition the interpersonal scars, soften them and help them release
• The power of the embodying the ‘sweet spot’ of pressure, emotionally and somatically, in the right places so you can actually have the support you need to let go
• Of bringing your sense of the spiritual and your intention deeper into the body than you have ever done with anyone else for maximum release.
• Deepening your trust in yourself, in such a palpable, visceral and embodied way that you will see everything else that comes before this experience is what prepared you for this.
• Sacredly placing the relevant history that pertains to your biggest losses, and seeing how the field (the space in you and between us) reveals EXACTLY what we need to know.

When this happens, with curated expertise…, a certain alchemy takes place.

And that alchemy creates intimacy with parts of you that you were never able to bring forward before.

And THAT, can only produce a different result when it comes to experiencing your deepest losses.

And my loves…THAT.. makes it possible for ALL gains to happen.. Especially now that you are laying the foundation for it to ACTUALLY happen..

I’ve never seen this not work, ever!

And within days, Laura messaged me to share that she’s had the biggest orgasm of her life, most explosive, most releasing, coupled with profound heart connection and love with her beloved.

Profound gains.

Not to mention her biggest month in business ever.

They often go hand in hand.

So, this is what’s possible for you.

And what we address in my upcoming program Divine Connection Alchemy.

Early Bird prices expire Thursday night at midnite.

You’re invited into this sacred container and I’m welcoming you in.

Email me for details.

Amazing. That’s how I’ve been feeling this week.

So calm and clear and excited all at the same time.

You know those moments when you remember who you ARE?

This whole week I’ve been in a very special container called a Womb Surround which was developed by Ray Castilleno. I’m in training on how to hold space for them and the Blueprint sessions that are in many ways such a deep part of my work already.

I’m so grateful for the surround (aka my fellow participants…) you get to experience being held in a pristine container, with your intention, with relevant history being noted, guiding principles present, and the beautiful FIELD of awareness through your body, and the participants reveals all the things that we need to know, in exactly the perfect timing and unfolding.

How does all that sound and feel?

And because babies communicate somatically, having this holding to access their communication is revealing some huge jewels to me.

The last one I did, I really got in touch with how much ecstasy I had for coming to planet earth.

Can you imagine getting information on your pre-conception self!

So valuable, as the pre-conception field governs so much going forward about everything!

I learned that in my essence I was/am ecstatic to BE here with all that there is to BE with, so that we can all go home together. And this is the work I am so totally lit up to share with you!

But, it takes stability, resourcing, sustainable holding and seeing of oneself there to actually bring it ALL the way forward in this life, into all the places. And the world I was born into did not have any of that at all, in fact, it was the opposite.

And this led to living a life of deep insecurity about my natural ecstatic, fiery, passionate and sensual self.

I imagine with 90% of the population having an insecure attachment, you have your own version of this too.

I held this longing as my intention this week. And I was held so exquisitely, so sensitively, so expertly.

If we are not seen in our true essence self, distortions happen. And for me, one of my primary distortions has been such a deep and fundamental insecurity in my true self.

Because I had no one around me that could see the ecstatic being that I came here to be.

Not the kind of ecstasy that’s temporary or a quick hit.

I’m talking about the kind of ecstasy that comes from experiencing true liberation in this life – across all the layers.

And into this life.

So I know there’s going to be a lot of integration in the time ahead.

And she was deeply seen, held, loved, welcomed and finally, safely embodied. Her ecstatic self feels manageable now, not a dangerous threat.

A lot of pendulating back and forth between the two worlds as I become more stabilized in my essence, and true self.

To bring more fire and passion to what my life looks like. I looked at my brand colors yesterday and it all felt SO blah..it’s pretty.. But way more muted than who I actually am.

So there’s going to be some changes happening.

And I’m excited on many levels.

And I can’t wait to share it with you.

And I can’t wait to see it myself, because when your true essence self is anchored inside yourself, minus the distortions that your conditioning layered on top of that…what can happen?

Let that sink in for a moment..

As I say that, my body feels tingling, warm and my heart feels glowy..

I think I’m about to find out..<3

It’s like, when you want soul-satisfying sex, love and closeness, it brings up everything – not just the pretty stuff that’s positive intentions and LOA, but when bringing in soul and spirit, nothing is really off limits when it comes to partnership.

You know?

And it’s so multidimensional that it can be very confusing which is very painful to go through.

There’s attachment histories, and the realms of mind, body, heart, instinct, sexuality, soul, trauma bodies, ancestral influences, sexuality, financial, parenting, family and so much more.

In my darkest moments, I wish I would have had access to something so much more simple than I make it.

Something essential.

Something that would take me through all the dimensions of relating, but be so much more clear than my mind would ever make it.

I tried literally every kind of therapy.

Individual. Group. Couples work.

I did ceremonies, hundreds of them.

I tried NLP, analytic work, interpersonal work, self psychology, self help books, sand tray therapy, drama therapy, constellation work, mainstream couples therapy, shamanic counseling, internal family systems, coaches who told me that I could use mindset, and at least thirty other methodologies.

I sometimes felt like such a failure. Even while my clients thrived.

Until, I realized that the depth of soul that I am, and the passion that I have required sensitive and artful curation of all the realms in a way that was attuned, made incredibly clear, simple and full of essence and inner resources that span all the places that needed it.

Do you ever feel that way? Like how does it all come together in a romantic relationship world?

It can feel like “WTF” often.

And then, there’s Quintessence – and the gift of Intimacy alchemy was a quality that I had to recognize in myself, because I needed it for me!

Maybe you need it for you too.

And it took me so long to get there because I had mistaken the part of me that splits everything apart to see what is true and what is not true – as a fault, not a gift that helps me partner with my own issues, but also with my hubby and also towards your relationship as well.

And all this is exactly why I’m lit up and turned on to invite you into a very unique opportunity to alchemize what’s not working in your romantic relationship, into the soul-satisfying version that will.

Nothing else is really going to cut it anyway, and if it had, well, you probably wouldn’t be here reading this.

You’re invited.

The Intimacy Keys Masterclass.

Happening this Friday, September 11th at 12 pm PST, 3 pm EST and 8 pm London time.

This will be an in-depth training. Normally costs $497

I’ll be sharing my methodology for creating soul-satisfying intimacy in your own love and life, and you’ll walk away with undeniable and yet also nuanced support that will be essential, clear, embodied and full of soul.

The curiosity I have is, what part of your relationship can you imagine benefitting from it? Feel free to share in the comments.

Super excited to see you there.

Sign up here.

Or, you can EMAIL me for details on how to work with me.

This Pisces full moon sneaked up on me.

Like the smoke up here in Northern California, as we battle almost 400 wildfires.

I’d been feeling really awesome the last few weeks, and then I felt an energetic frequency in the last few days in the atmosphere build up like a sludge.

Suddenly I was exfoliating inside and out. Purifying.

And then my friend sent me the video (which I’ll post below) of Matisyahu, who gathered 3,000 Jews and Palestinians in Israel to sing ‘One Day…’ maybe you’ve heard it? (you’ll want to turn up the volume and grab a kleenex).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqvKDCP5-xE

I was crying in five minutes, big, chest-relieving sobs, almost at the same time that it kicked in through my foggy, smoke-ravaged brain, that it’s the full moon and that our dreams are STILL very important to listen to.

The upliftment was real. And I asked myself, What dreams do I still have?

For myself, my life, my love, and the world?

What dreams do you still have?

For yourself?

Your life?

This world?

And your love?

I am feeling a portal is open.

To Re-member our soul liberation dreams, in ourselves, our relationships, lives and this world.

And to have faith, embodied deep in our tissues and cells, ground-up, all the way into the world.

Have you invited yourself into some sacred space, to truly feel and see what they are?

Drop in.

Tune In.

And let yourself dream yourself awake.

And,

Today at 11 am PST, 2 pm EST, 7 pm London Time, on my Facebook personal page (https://www.facebook.com/joanna.intara). I’m inspired to host a special, pop-up live training where we’ll be having the best discussion on all things Dream Making, in life and self, especially when it comes to your soul-satisfied romantic relationship.

Something so many want, and crave, but find so elusive to actually have, because no one ever taught us how to do it, nor how cut through the complexity to create it.

This is literally my zone of genius, no matter how complex or how many dimensions you’re dealing with, and I know of no area of life, more tangible, more real, more rubber hits the road manifestation ground of all you know, and more delivering of liberation than this one. It’s a real path, Conscious Intimacy.

I’m going to share HOW and WHAT I’ve been doing to create this myself, and some of the most soul-delightful sequencing methodologies I’ve created to help you get it.

Would you like to have that experience, so that you can walk away with an embodied way of living into the precious dreams that your soul has been silently speaking to you about?

I can’t wait for this heart to heart soul chat – that’s how my gatherings are – amazing, soulful, depthful, and, curious humans, devoted and dedicated to full on happiness in so many ways, especially with their beloved, whether inner or in relationship.

Until then,

Enjoy the Full Moon – and it’s deliverance.

“Dream On, Keep Dreaming Til Your Dreams Come True.” Aerosmith

and, I’d add

Let us keep on dreaming earth’s dream, until it comes true…

P.S. How do you trust your intuition from the ground of your body so it flows easily? Join me in the Intimacy Keys Masterclass on September 9th at 12 pm PST HERE(https://joannaintara.com/ik/). Let me know if you are coming.

…you CAN do THIS instead. (and hint hint.. It’s much more relaxing)

Contrary to what you’ve been told by other love mentors, that you need to have your mindset properly in place to have your relationship work out well, that your head needs to be screwed on ‘straight’ (whatever that means) otherwise you won’t attract your divine mate.

We’ve been told that if we don’t do that, we’re not manifesting correctly, and that it won’t be possible to attract love or keep love because we’re not doing it right.

I find this advice misplaced and also injurious to people. I’ve seen it with my own eyes to watch the ‘manic pivot’ as I call it from heartache in relationship spring into mindset, mindset and more mindset.

I can tell you from sitting with thousands of clients in my mastermind and program work, this ‘necessity to totally focus on mindset is BS and it’s simply untrue.

I’ve seen really beautiful souls try SO hard to mindset their way through everything…and while they’re busy posting selfies, trying to keep up, on the backend, feeling a lot of anguish that their Divine Mate hasn’t shown up yet.

I think we need to forgive ourselves for this.

We need to understand.

It’s not easy – but if something is not working, we’ve got to acknowledge how hard we’ve tried and tired, and understand ourselves with all our love so that we can pivot and try something else, something that’s going to work.

This is what my clients have come to me for.

And I can tell you this.

The power of intuition and trusting it within a well regulated nervous system is going to far more, help you have your mate than mindset ever will.

It’s what helped me meet my husband, after feeling like I had been doing it wrong according to some of the experts.

It’s what’s helped me sustain love after mindset work in my relationship failed miserably.

And just the other day, my hubby and I were talking about how wonderful it’s been to walk through the path of getting regulated, then being able to easily trust and implement our deeper intuition about creating intimacy together.

He said, “Babe, it’s been worth every second.” I kissed him and agreed.

We had to slow down.

To ground our visions and desires deep into our bodies.

To let the threads of mind, heart, body and instinct all be heard and woven into our desires in a grounded way.

It is not ‘fly by night’ work.

It happened with a lot of love, devotion, presence, skill and amazing mentorship. (Thank God!)

It was worth every minute.

Now we get to enjoy the fruits of our connection, even during the crazy times we all find ourselves in, we are thriving!

If you find yourself in a similar place, I want to invite you to have this as well.

It’s available and it’s the magic I create with my clients as well.

I have two spots open this week.

PM me for more details..

P.S. Wondering how to trust your intuition from the ground up? No more forced mindset! Join me in Dream Maker, The Live Stream on September 4th, at 11 am PST.

Yes, Your Intuition CAN Be Trusted, and You MUST, Especially In Intimate Partnership.

Because whoever or whatever told you you can’t trust your intuition in a romantic partnership led you far, far away from yourself. And it’s time to call her home.

Like one of my clients, Lianne.

I listened to her explain how she could never trust her intuition (ouch) – that delicate balance between heart and body, mind, awareness and instinct – that 6th sense knowing. Isn’t it so elusive, and no wonder we reflect on exactly how to ground and access it.

She’d tried to think, reason and mindset her way through. Everyone around her was doing that and what worked for them, didn’t necessarily work for her. Maybe not for you either.

She tried to be logical about it, practical too. She tried to only listen to her heart, but that missed some things that were in her awareness. She was beyond frustrated. She needed to make some decisions about her partnership and which direction to take it. Like maybe you do right now?

Intuition is a delicate and sensitive field.
And we are not taught well to trust it and respect its’ web in ourselves.

It requires attending to body, mind, awareness, instinct, heart and knowing all at the same time.

And yet, it is also something different and beyond all those too. It’s complicated to the mind. Know what I mean… about disentangling all the confusion so that you can get the intricate information you need – especially about your marriage or partnership?

This is how I listen to you – with great care to all the tendrils of yourself, your being, and your spirit and soul. We make space to honor the voice of each of them. To listen to the desires of each. And to let them all coalesce gracefully together in a way that is GROUNDED in your body, so that the information can make sense to you and then you can actually use it the way you need to. Not gonna leave you with an abstract idea of intuition that’s useless. Never.

Sometimes it feels like performing psychic surgery – it’s that sensitive and delicate, and in the absence of a skilled guide, your insides can feel pressured to just pick one of them, the logic, the reason, the heart.. – but none of those reflect your true intuition…and it’s painful… a certain kind of soul ache to only go with one dimension of you when there is meant to be more.

But THIS sensitive attending..and caring to these parts

This is what we did.

Listened over and over again.

Ground over and over again.

Let each piece speak it’s part of the whole.

Weave them together on their own timing.

Let your TRUE INTUITION speak.. And share it’s sage guidance with you.

This is exactly what helped Lianne and I loved seeing her confidence blossom and her access to her natural intuition just pour out of her.

Decisions in relationship and trusting her intuition became EASY.

This is what’s possible for you.

I see this longing in many people in our industry, but not being sure how to do it. I see many try to be forceful with these decisions, but miss all the juicy nuggets of gold underneath the push and hustle (and then they burn out).

This is the magic and healing I create with my clients and I have two spots open right now.

Send me a private message.

P.S. Did you hear about this yet? There’s an incredible opportunity for you to refine this intuition and freely cultivate this soul-satisfying sex, love and closeness you’ve been craving. It’s so beyond the beyond powerful to have these resources deeply grounded into your own self and it will make your relationship journey expand in ways you cannot even now imagine.

I’m hosting a free masterclass where I’m going to be sharing the exact Intimacy Keys that have allowed me to take my own partnership from life support into the precious jewel it is now. Would you like easy access to them? Sign Up Here… https://joannaintara.com/ik/

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t purely conventional or convenient, chances are you’re in some version of an evolutionary partnership, destined to have it’s own work of growing and evolution to do.

But so many people get stuck in the inner resource department, and call it quits, assume it’s not the right person for them (Hollywood sure role models this,) and move on, only to repeat the same lesson again.

There is an essential methodology to feel better.

ONE – Take a freakin’ break. I say that with all kindness. If one or both of you are feeling activated, then there are issues coming up. And while there is a place for the ‘good fight’, this is NOT it. No amount of trying to charge through activated inner terrains is going to help you get through it. It usually creates more injuries. The whole idea of taking a break, or a pause, is to give you time to go away, take responsibility for exploring and managing your reactivity, and then come back to share it in a non-blaming and fully accountable sharing.

TWO – Soften your belly. Simply bring your consciousness to your belly, and soften, while resting your attention on your breath……s…..l…..o…..w…..l…..y…… During a conflict or difficult passageway, we are often braced to defend or control, which then transfers into the heart and mind – and that will help you like rainboots will in a biblical level flood! SO…we want something that’s actually going to help you, and softening your belly helps your nervous system move into ease, which makes everything better, including the conversation you’ll have next.

You CAN also drink a glass of cool water, and go pee!

It assists in resetting the nervous system.

I use these four any time I get activated and feel any kind of disconnection from my center taking over.

Have you tried these?

Are you going to check them out?

LMK what you think.

The coaching industry’s standard on mindset to change everything is missing some serious foundational pieces that it makes me want to scream from the rooftops..”IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT MINDSET ISN’T WORKING…” and then blanket you in a warm-hearted, forgiving embrace.

And while you’re feeling that…

Know this! Something more desirable (and let’s face it, more needed) can happen instead..and to your relief, it can happen really quickly..

Look, I know you’ve been guided to just ‘get on with it,’ and ‘get your damn mindset correct,’ and everything else will just flow from there.

…that if you can’t fix your mindset, there is something wrong with you, or that you’re going to botch your launch or have no sales or clients.

…that mindset is everything and your romantic relationships (and others) will all suffer until you get your head screwed on straight and just freakin’ ‘do that damn thing.’

I see this every day.

I see how hard you’ve worked.

How relentlessly and disciplined you’ve been with mindset, and how deeply hopeful you’ve been that if you just jump through the next hoop, it’ll all come through – everything you’ve been wishing and wanting for, right?

RIGHT?

I’ve been a classic case study. No matter how much mindset work I did (and let me share, I worked my mind off), all the soul-satisfying success I dreamed of in work and romantic relationship eluded me.

Each day I was diligent. I sat at my altar. I made my intentions. I meditated and did thousands of prostrations and visualizations. I scripted how I wanted everything to be. I was so deeply devoted, probably like you have been. I recorded my sacred, scripted prayers on apps, and then listened to them non stop, even while sleeping.

But I couldn’t manifest any of those things upon a foundation where some of the very successes I wanted – more income, and a more connected partnership were triggering unhealed wounding that mindset wouldn’t fix.

You’ve probably been dealing with this same burden.

And I know if you’re reading this, you know what that feels like. The ache in your soul is real. It hurts. It’s heavy and sooo frustratingly painful..

And that more you want – it’s only going to come from the foundation of your nervous system, in your body, and in your feel good center having the embodiment to switch into a much more present NOW, to have resources to be in flow with what’s coming up in your relationship.

I know you want to flip the switch dear loves, and you’ve been fed the mindset fixes it all story – but there is a story underneath all the minds that exist in the world.

It lives in the heart.

It lives in the body.

It lives in the nervous system.

It lives in your cells.

And how all this is regulated.

This is the foundation, UNDERNEATH your mind.

And when you know you wouldn’t build a skyscraper from the sky down, you get that you wouldn’t trust your relationship or successes to such a theory either.

You build it from the ground up.

Like I did. Each place where the foundation of the heart, body and nervous system lives, needs our presence, awareness and caring, compassionate and resourced self.

This is what creates true roots inside you, true present moment, safe infrastructure – what helps flip the feel good center to GOOD from the sludge you’ve been unnecessarily swamping through.

No more.

This is how it works.

And the space I hold for this unfoldment to happen is exactly my magic.

If you’re interested, I have two spots open.

Send me a message.