Category: Love

But YOU, you read on…

Good, you must be brave-hearted and want the love in relationship that you’ve been needing and craving.

Awesome… I so want you to have that, and here’s how.

Now I’m being honest, this is NOT going to be easy, it is not for the faint of heart, and it’s definitely not for the ones who will probably choose to stay stuck where they are…

THIS.

Ask yourself and your beloved…

Where are the places, pockets and difficult spots in your relationship that need to be opened and receive MORE LOVE?

Be honest.

Be thorough.

And bring the love waaay into them.
Bring the love right from your heart.
Bring the care from your deepest understanding.
Bring the tenderness that you know it deeply needs.
Be the empathy that ALL parts of the situation require.

THEN see how it feels between you.

Do this regularly.

Be that love.
Feel that love.
Carry that care RIGHT into where it’s needed.

I bet you things won’t stay the same, and you’ll feel closer, more alive and more connected for loving and sexing than you’ve felt for a long time.

What’s ONE wish you have about how this might help you?

There’s nothing more that I would love than for every one of you who wants this to have the depth of love that is possible in all the needed places.

This practice will change your life and relationship, and give you exactly what you’ve been feeling like you want; a true love for all time, right in your relationship or marriage or relationship with yourself – it’s is where it all starts and counts.

I’m so excited to share this with you and I can’t wait for you to experience it because I know it will work.

The disconnection.. gross or subtle.
The wishing you had more love between you…
The rub that doing real relationship work sometimes brings…

I’m pretty sure that whatever situation you’ve got going on in relationship now will be remedied by this practice that I’m super excited to share with you, that I’ve worked actively on in my own relationship for years and it STILL gives me so much goodness.

Ask < < <
What parts of myself or our relationship are separate from love?

BE open.
BE curious.
BE undefended.

Over and over.

It will reveal, and you will feel all the feels that go with it.. but bringing love into every separate place is the work, and it’s only going to make everything better.

I promise you.

It IS a practice though so you do have to actually do it and if you want more love, easier love, more for filling and more satisfying love, isn’t it worth doing this one small thing?

Can’t wait to hear the ONE most surprising thing you discover.

I LOVE this practice so much and when my clients do it, they tell me how much goodness comes their way too.

I don’t want you to miss this opportunity to find out how to open up to big time love in your relationship, even if it’s been feeling challenging lately.

Which is why I want to share with you the brilliant discussion we had in our group.

Every week I hear about couples and individuals, wanting…needing to have the relationship be easier, lighter and more inflow.

They struggle with disconnection or not enough of the right kind of connection, with not enough of the right kind of sex, they want (and need) to feel the juicy yumminess of closeness and true emotional intimacy. And gosh do I know about this because it was deeply part of my struggle that I have gone through and thank God and Amen, have come out the other side.

This is an issue of pandemic proportions…because as a culture we haven’t been taught yet, how to really do these things, and it’s not like the Home Economics class in high school gave you much to utilize here, but they should! (I mean the extent of our class, was a little hollowed out egg called Eggby, that was to be our child – we even decorated them, and had little baskets for them, and had to make sure they weren’t kidnapped..I digress, but you get the point – no training!)

Which is exactly why I went live in my Hot Sex, Love and Closeness for Parents and Couples group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/278275709185342/.

We’ve got you covered for real. We explored;

• what to do to help you close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, so you can get closer with your beloved tonight.
• how to be super embodied in this ONE thing, so you can actually feel the difference.
• and exactly what to do to begin bringing it into your relationship TODAY.

In our Facebook Group (come on over!), we’re an engaged, honest group of awesome humans, just like you, parents, couples, all trying to sincerely find our way…learning growing and never forgetting for a moment that the keys to the love and peace we seek in relationship lies inside of us.. and the decisions we make to grow and take charge of the desires we have. They were put in you or your relationship for a reason, you know?

And I know I’m the best person to help you because of the massive education, training and experience I have, along with the sheer quality and number of success stories you can find on my testimonial pages.

So are you going to spend another night in the struggle.. or are you going to do what I did, to get the relationship I have, and LEAN into the layers of support you deeply need?

I’ll see you there.

How deep is your love for a loving relationship that’s filled with even more LOVE?

100% of my clients would love to have more love in their relationships…

• between each other
• in the hard places
• in the tender places
• in the hurt places
• deep in the growing and stretching
• and even in the tired places…it makes that much of a difference.

And how did they all get what they needed?

Devotion.

Dedication.

And Decision.

To become it.

It works like that…

So in all honesty, how much devotion, dedication and decision are you embodying when it comes to where YOU need more love in your relationship?

Devotion meaning… staying committed even when it’s hard. Even when it’s not pretty, fun or popular. Especially when it’s messy.

Dedication meaning showing up for your partner each day….Committing to doing the work where it’s needed, even if it stretches you, even if it makes your heart open even more, even if you don’t think you can bear it, this is where new structure is formed.

THAT is what matters.

It’s probably the only thing that matters.

John and Jill (not their real names, protected for privacy) had been in a marriage for 12 years.

Both had done a considerable amount of inner work, personal therapy, coaching and spiritual work, as most of my clients have done.

They have three children, who weren’t so little anymore, and more time and space had opened up for their relationship.

They came in wanting to feel closer, a lot more loving and felt like there was plenty room to spice up the sex as well.

But there was a hardness about them, a way they felt dry and distant, and it sent quivers through my spine, which I wonder about.

John started, looking hopeful to me for some tenderness, which leads me to wonder what’s going on with things like compassion, empathy, repair, and open heartedness.

Jill seemed to feel edgy and insecure.

And over our sessions it tumbled out through tears that there were quite a number of semi unfinished hurts, injuries, and things that just hadn’t felt really healed in their relationship. And they had convinced themselves that it didn’t really matter that much.

These nicks at their relationship ran both ways.

And with kids, it was easy to prioritize them, but what was even more true was that they needed to prioritize each other and help resolve the hurts once and for all.

Both of them had gotten used to being a little harder and more cut off, but the distant looks and the pain they felt about it spoke volumes to me and I brought up what I noticed in the room and asked them what their relationship was like in the area of love.

I specifically kept it general, because I wanted to hear where they would go and I trusted that the ready to come forward issues would be arriving shortly as they did. (and always do!)

“I feel like you’ve lost love for me…”

“Our love has dwindled…do we even still love each other?”

“Do you still love me…?”

“”Why did we put so much aside, and what do we do now?”

That last question was important in particular (the other ones were too) and from all years of pretty much everything I’ve trained in and practiced, I feel like the one thing I do over and over again is to help people return to love.

With themselves.
With each other.
With their inner parts.
With their magic and creativity.
With their resources.
With their true nature.

Over and over again…so I asked them this time, as the power of inquiry has taught me,

What would love say?
What would love do?
And how can we bring love back and into every place that really needs.

So if you’re wondering what to do, when love feels thin, do what John and Jill did.

It worked very well, it was simple, not over thinking or complicated.

They were devoted, dedicated and decided.

They closed the gaps.

They brought in all the love.

They grew closer, happier, and SOFTER.

And, MORE in love thank they could have ever imagined. Yes, they were in love before, but do you even realize how much even more being in mad love is even possible?

Isn’t it your turn?

Who’s willing to take a risk and do this too?

One thing I’ve noticed with being of service to clients over the last three decades is how much the basics of relationship get dismissed as corny!

Or cliche’ so people discount it.

Why do you think people do that?

Truth is, we shouldn’t do that.

We need to trust the damn essence of all these things, like love, because they lead us down the royal road to what we all desire most.

Especially in relationship, love and how it happens (or doesn’t) is what I hear about all the time.

It’s also what I’ve focused on… and had to learn because honestly it just wasn’t that easy for me.

With some of you, I’ve shared that I got very LITTLE training on how to do solid hot sex, love and closeness relationship growing up.

I always knew I was destined for a love for the ages, for all time.. and I’m certainly living that now… but truthfully it wasn’t always that way.

The way that I had been taught was to disconnect from love and go to fear when I was triggered, to go to identification with some story.

And it was a well-grooved pattern that created more fear and feeling of lovelessness and then more desire for more love.. the wounds and injuries of wanting more love, needing more love, feeling unhappy about it not being there…

That was a hard time for both of us…and it was a sad time, and we thought it should be easy, but it really wasn’t.

I felt alone, afraid, unintelligent and a bit ashamed. And my hubby felt similar, which created a fearful, loveless funhouse hall of mirrors.

And then one day, the beautiful mystic that he is.. he brought home this gorgeous quote from saying from the great Indian sage,
Sri Nisargadatta,

“The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.”

We had to take that in.. super deeply.

We’d talk about how to bring it forward.. the love.. the heart.. the care…

And bring it through absolutely every place where there was;

• separation between us,
• fear between us,
• conflict between us,
• edgy spots between us,
• blocks between us,

We had to keep going.. like sew it in everywhere.

We had to be vigilant, lest the old patterns arise with a vicious uprising.

We’d say, “just love, just here, just right now…”, maybe we spoke that like a thousand times.. or more..sometimes still do.

He brought me many loving gifts of flowers during that period of time. And told me all the things he loved about me, a lot!

I’d find out how he needed to be loved…and love him like that.

We asked that all places in us, between us and inside each of us that were separate from love, be brought inside of love’s embrace.

We’d ask,

How can we bring love into this place, where love feels small?

Or this place, where love feels dry?

Or this place, where things felt cool or cold?

Maybe these are things you can ask yourself, if you want more love in the places that are calling it for you.

The sweetness of taking this love into our thoughts, our feelings, our hearts, our bodies and our souls was profoundly healing. It brought us closer, much closer, in love, in closeness and in hot sex, for sure!

What a gift.

I want you to have it too!

What’s a way you’d like to experience greater love THIS week?

I’m going to see love as an image in my head, let it appear…and then meditate on it, bring it into my body and then let that inform everything. I’m super excited to feel this because I KNOW it’s only going to lead to goodness and yumminess.

There’s been a real deepening this week into the body of love.

And the practices and nudges we gave were excellent starters on how to go even deeper in love, and become more landed in the center of your own love, so that you can feel connected, in love and intimate, See https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157776749720555 and https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157779781215555.

Those are the real prep for this Dare.. if you will,

but only if you want more.. if you really want to bring it home, if you truly wish to go deeper, and more IN love than ever before…

okay.. that’s you..coz you know how MUCH it’s worth it.

so here’s the thing..these powerful questions..

What would love say,
What would love do,
How would love BE?

you’ve tried them on… you’ve asked them.. a few times…

but here’s where the BIGGEST shifts happen…

who’s stepping into their courage with me..

to do this..

commit to being ONLY in the voice of the answers, to these questions for longer than a few minutes…

how long can you go for?

six hours.. a day….two days? a week?

Dare yourself.

Imagine the you.. in the center of your love and heart you…
And then the you that makes you in relationship.
Feel into that.

And if it gets to feeling hard..remind yourself why you’re doing this, you want to come from love, feel more love, all around. Remind yourself you’re reorienting to love and that you are undoing patterns of being out of your heart. Dedicate yourself to this. Sometimes I like to say these things out loud, which I find very forgiving and releasing.

And let it spread into all life.

and holy OMG. I’m telling you.. the closeness and sex factor will be absolutely next level…my clients have experienced this.. I have..and now it’s our turn. I think our longest known practice of this went like, a life time. That couple is pretty epic.

Tell me your DARE for how long you’d hold yourself to practice this.

I find myself wondering.. could I do a whole month.. two months maybe? I’m scintillatedly excited imagining it. Join me…

I know, I know it hurts inside to feel separated from love.

It’s so crazy human that we go through this kind of stuff.

What crazy experiment from something to get us in relationship with the shadow of connection and love….to……disconnection from love.

And because it seems like part of the human experience…we HAVE to master it.

So whatever is going in your current du jour version of disconnection today, whether you weren’t hearing the other’s intention, or when the person responded, you felt they weren’t present, or you felt cut off, stop, sit, and ask these three questions..of yourself toward whatever the situation is…same with your partner…

What would love say,
What would love do,
How would love BE?

Get inside LOVE’s voice!
Love’s heart
Love’s way of being
Love’s way of acting
Love’s way of speaking
Only come from there!

Hold yourself and each other to it with truth and compassion.

Embrace the practice.

It will make you into love.

It will help you make love.

Sometimes it’s simply about attending to the foundation.

Without resistance.

Surrendering to practice is essential.

We are all learning. Including me.

So…what’s ONE action you’ll take this week to get going on this practice?

I’ve been in this deep all week. it’s already shifting my energy in my body…it creates so much space.. I can feel it’s deliciousness…all creative doorways are open to me now.

I want you to have access to this too..

LMK in the comments or send me a PM if you prefer anonymity. Lots of people do.

Every live stream where we go into all things Hot Sex, Love and Closeness and EXACTLY what to do to experience it, I feel the wave of excitement at couples doing their bestest soul dance with each other…and frankly it’s totally scintillating.

And yesterday was NO exception.

We did it again!

Check this out…

I’m always on a quest to make it easier for you to get what you want in relationships.

I want you to have more access to the capacities and resources that are going to get you the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you’ve been craving, even if you think it’s impossible right now.

But I want you to know…It IS possible..
Even the word impossible, broken down is ….i’mpossible….lol

But it’s easy to think that you can’t do it. Because you haven’t been taught how, and that’s no crime.

In fact, whatever got taught to us through society, culture, our parents, or the movies, is able to be untaught, unlearned and de-conditioned.

And the best way we can do this is to get in your love starved hands and heart the VERY things that are going to help you cultivate the delicious opening to deeper love that you deserve. Not only that, but ignite a new wave of hot sex and closeness.

On our Live Stream, we covered;

– what to do to have the love you’ve been craving
– how to get through any disconnected space and return to love as quickly as possible
– my favorite love-restoring question of all time.

I promise you, you don’t want to miss this. You will feel happier and more resourced and able to create and deepen into exactly the kind of soul nourishing love you’ve been searching for all along.

Can’t wait to share this with you.

It’ll be like having a wave of love wash over the disconnected places that you feel with your partner and get everything back on track, from just applying a few thing that I’m sharing with you here.

This gets to be easier.

I promise you.

It’s not your fault you’re disconnected right now, or have been.

We haven’t been taught.

We are all literally as a society, just learning.

We’re all just figuring it out.

People.. we’ve got to be more patient with ourselves.

Disconnection is a survival strategy against real or perceived harm.

We can ALL go there.

And that’s okay.. we’ve got to get back too..

We need healthy bonding..

Heart and Love bonding.

The well being it brings is so beyond phenomenal…

For a second, drop all strategy..

And whatever the disconnection flavor of the day is; whether you weren’t hearing the other’s intention, or when the person responded, you felt they weren’t present, or you felt cut off.

Ask this instead.

What would love say,
What would love do,
How would love BE?

Drop in, feel that

Be that…

Bring it to the disconnection..

Bring it now…

Feel it…

Speak it..

Let hot sex and closeness come from this..

Repeat it..

What’s different?

LMK in the comments.

I’m going to do this now too..it’s already shifting my energy in my body…it creates so much space.. I can feel it’s deliciousness…all creative doorways are open to me now.

I want you to have access to this too..