Perhaps you’re like my clients Melissa and Mark, together for nine years, married for six and two children with a third on the way.
Both are successful, self-employed and consider themselves woke people.
Both have done some kind of relationship work with other people, read some books aloud together and maybe took a course here and there, but nothing in it looked at the multiple dimensions of their relationship and how they were functioning together to either bring more hot sex, love and closeness or cause a disconnect.
There was a contraction and resignation in their energy when I met them.
Melissa had a heart of gold.. and was proud of her depth and desired to make things better with Mark.
She came from a family where there wasn’t much support on how to handle big people and big energies. Her family was loud and overwhelming.
Then we meet Mark. He wants things to be simple, clear and make sense.
But his idea of making sense wasn’t armed with much inclusion of emotional intelligence; the ability to be empathic, to be self-aware, to be self-regulating, to have true motivation.. and to know and understand how these work in a relationship and how they affect you and others around you…
This is NO easy task, it’s not like they teach you successful relationship goals in high school, but they really should.
Just imagine how many relationship issues you wouldn’t have if you would have a clear way to achieve the peace, love and closeness that you desire…
Emotional IQ development is necessary so that common sense can include what is actually common in a relationship, and what is common in a relationship is disconnection, and emotional overwhelm on some level.. whether it’s big or small, I see this in almost every couple I work with.
And this is what we did
– Begin to develop far more expanded self-awareness.
– To develop empathy, practice it and fine-tune it to make it more powerful.
– To develop an awareness of motivation and how it works and how to use it to become more connected.
– And to know how to self-regulate so that when things become overwhelming, you’ll have your peace no matter what.
– And to keep deepening in your understanding and embodiment of these things so you how they impact others and how they impact you.
When Melissa and Mark did this, the overwhelm decreased… they had more empathy with each other.. they had more understanding of each other.. they both could self-regulate in the places that were overwhelming.. they were both interested in how they impacted the other.. and they both used motivation in a good way to engine the things that they wanted in the relationship.
I was super happy to see this, the went from overwhelm to connection and more empathy with each other. They moved from stress to sexy connection. And from not feeling a lot of empathy, to complete heart and care total loving support.
This is what’s possible when you decide it is not any longer negotiable for things to stay as they are and you want next year to be different.
This is what’s possible when you take action, and you prioritize your energy, focus and understanding of what is going to bring you to the place that you desire.
The sweetness of the most loving intimate and close connection can’t happen when you don’t have internal systems to govern the many dimensions of not only being a human, but when those two humans meet each other and there’s a whole lot of worlds to navigate, and it’s not easy and no one tells you how to do it so you’ve got to start somewhere.
And where is that for you today?
Tell me one place you’re going to start bringing one of the few intelligence tools listed above to your relationship! Stay tuned for more ways to practice and deepen this into your relationship this week, on Wednesday and Thursday when I offer a nudge and the practice, and if you feel even more passionate about it, show up for the dare on Friday as well, but only if you’re serious about experiencing a mind-blowing shift this week in how you feel towards each other.. and how the edges are softened…or raised.. in all the right places.
I’m committing to really deepening empathy. I like going through these and self-assessing to see where I’m at. And then what needs to deepen or go further or evolve so I can keep fulfilling the desires of my soul.
And.. I’ve got ONE spot open this week for anyone who is wanting to turn up the hotness, love and intimacy in their love relationship…..even if you haven’t been having it for a while… get on this while there’s openings.. you can tell me any one thing you want help within your relationship.. and I’ll share with you the MOST EFFECTIVE thing that will totally help you.
I’m pretty sure it’s your turn now to claim what you desire to experience..
