One of the things I love about being a parent, is that my children let me know very directly what they need, how they need it, and exactly when they need it by.
Sometimes I can do really well with responding to it, and sometimes I fail.
And when I fail I like to repair, ASAP.
And one of the best ways that I know how to repair is to create a sacred family ritual of that particular subject.
For example, my daughter told me about language that I was using that she didn’t like.
She had a point, and I really heard her and repaired whatever harm my language had created for her.
She then started to tell me about the associated times that my language had been harmful and I decided to keep asking her until there was nothing left.
So this is what I recommend that you try.
If there is harm, or hurt simply sit with the person and keep asking them to tell you about it until there is nothing left.
Do not judge them, do not interrupt them, do not tell them why you did it, do not explain yourself or justify your behavior.
Simply listen to what they’re saying.
Simply listen.
And be available for support and then watch what happens, watch the level of connection increase, watch your own ability to handle overwhelm improve, and watch your children feel more secure
Tell me one thing you’re going to do this week to fix a situation that didn’t go so well.
Remember, it’s your turn to feel released from overwhelm, and if you follow these things I guarantee you they’re going to deliver you to the other side, you simply have to practice them to start.
And look, if this feels too overwhelming to do on your own, that’s when you get professional support and this is exactly what I help couples with every day!
