Last winter my son Emanuel, (who is now 11), told me.
“Mom, I want the dating pool at school to be larger.
I want a relationship like you and Daddy have.”
This really touched me for a number of reasons.
And what I appreciate it did here, was it had me look at how I’m demonstrating the energy of hot sex, love and closeness.
Really made me look.
Our kids take in everything about how we do sex, love and closeness.
They feel it without us explaining anything!
So what are you transmitting?
How many times a day are your kids seeing you kiss, hug and smooch?
And how are they observing you dealing with any signs of stress or trouble?
And the afterglow of hot sex and lovemaking… How often are they experiencing that?
It’s honestly shocking for most of the people to actually do this because it shows you what’s actually getting transmitted to your children about how to do hot sex, love and closeness.
I actually recommend writing it down for a week. And seeing what you discover.
And then the practice is to truly look at what it brings up for you depending on what you see.
What is your relationship to what you were seeing? (i.e. Do you feel happy about it, frustrated, have a desire to shift it?)
How do you both feel about it?
How is that impacting your kids?
If you’re not willing to be curious and in the question for the discovery process, what does that also show your children? And how does that play out in your family?
Remember that all of your transmissions around hot sex, love, closeness, conflict resolution and intimacy completely become the basis of the transmission that your children will receive.
It’s going somewhere, so if you want a hot sex, love and closeness relationship, you’ve got to be willing to look at where it’s actually going? And what you’re actually seeing.
So is there ONE thing you’re seeing as you’re reading this, that has your curiosity? Let me know in the comments.
One thing I’ve noticed is that in the afterglow of lovemaking, our kids are always more peaceful (because WE are peaceful) and it’s tightening my awareness to how important it is for that transmission to be available for them. If it becomes their norm, then that’s what they’ll expect and experience.
