We had a difficult family (us and our kids) conversation a few years ago, and because we are a fiery bunch, there was some interrupting and colorful exchanges.
I never want to pretend to you that I am perfect, because I’m a human just like you who makes mistakes and can be vulnerable and can feel lost at moments.
The difference is I now have the resources and tools to bring me back and I want to share those with you so you have them as well.
In this example, we decided to create a family ritual that would honor the need to listen to each other so we didn’t continue to have the not being heard trouble again, and so this is what we did, which I invite you to try as well.
Each person gives the other their complete attention while they are talking, listening from their heart, listening with their eyes, listening with their body, and not premeditating what you’re going to say which then results in the other person not feeling truly listened to.
When you do this, the person being listened to feels so received, and so held, and so deeply supported that there is a deep exhale and a sense of relaxation that happens.
We went around the circle which I advise you to do as well, and each person got their turn to be in the center, fully received, fully heard, fully listen to, fully taken in for what was important to them.
Gosh.. that feels SOOO good.
Sometimes we had to sit on our hands because like I said you know, fiery bunch, but it was so worth it because that resulted in each person in the center feeling like they received repair, were no longer overwhelmed, that they were being emotionally attended to, and then sacred family rituals were born through this experience.
There were moments where it wasn’t easy, for anyone, the depth of difficult feelings required much presence and attention and love and support, but what matters, is that we did it, and then the love increased, and the emotional intimacy grew, and the connection flourished, not only in our family unit but in my marriage as well.
I truly wish this for you and I know you can have it by following these simple steps, it is risky which is why this is a dare but it’s worth it so deeply to have the hot close connected relationship that I have now.
So now it’s truly your turn.
Tell me one thing you intend to do this week to create more connection in yourself and in your family. I’m realizing I’d like to create new ritual to find out what kind of support people are needing in their lives.. and then find creative ways to do it.
If you’re feeling shy about commenting publicly because it is vulnerable and this is your relationship we’re talking about I want to protect your anonymity by inviting you to message me in the comments and inviting you to message me privately.
I welcome hearing from you and I can’t wait to see your relationship shifting.
