When you resolve troublesome body sensations, like the ache in your chest that can come up when you imagine going deeper, hotter, wilder.. or the sharp pain that comes up in your stomach.. when you imagine opening up even more.. or maybe there’s a pressure behind your eyes when you fantasize about going even deeper…. there’s no stopping how far your sex life and for that matter, the rest of your life can progress.
Let me share a story with you that will touch your soul, and whet your appetite with energy and focus toward experiencing the full liberation of your own sexual desires.
My client Joan and Neal deeply struggled with maintaining great sexual connection. They had two kids, age 6 and 9. and were both entrepreneurs with their own businesses.
I sometimes watch clients eyes when they come in the room, not to stare at them but sometimes in a moment because I can see so deeply a person’s true nature, that I can also see all the barriers in the form of conditioning, and messaging they received that cover that beauty and love up.
Joan was beautiful. Huge brown eyes, elegant, vivacious, and salt of the earth kind of woman Neal fell in love with. His eyes filled with love when he started to talk about them falling in love, and all the epic, non stop love-making they experienced that was ecstatic, fulfilling and everything he said a man could want.
But over time, as romantic love wore off, and power struggles began, so did their colliding history of sexual imprints (templates inside of us handed down from our lineages) rise up to be resolved.
They kept coming up against barriers to opening to and receiving deeper and deeper pleasure, love and connection. It went from bad to worse. They bickered, blamed, fought and moved into separate bedrooms. They hurt, individually and then they hurt each other. And it made them question like many of my clients before them?
- What are we doing wrong?
- Is it me?
- Is it them?
- (and the ever dreaded) maybe we’re not compatible?
But because I am trained in not only Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, but also deep Trauma work as well, and Teacher Trained to help couples restore erotic friction.. I knew that I had the resources to help them resolve this issue, in exactly the way they needed it.
You see, not every couple needs the same intervention, nor at the same time. Sometimes a piece of the emotion between them comes up to be re-processed using the masterful work of Emotionally Focused Therapy which creates and restores secure emotional attachment between couples.
And other times, it is a battle of minds, fixed opinions, stories, ideas or projections of the other that require attention.. and I give that care to dissolve those patterns of mind, and return them to free, and creative will, based on the 25 year solid practice experience of Buddhism which teaches us that the true nature of our minds is empty of anything real and only exist to the extent that we put something in them to project out. When couples feel safe to slow down, and choose what goes in the mind, which is simply a projector, they always make a different movie, one where they want to see a happy ending in.
And in this couple, after more assessment, struggled with painful body sensation that came up for WANTING more desire. Their desires were not bad, but because they were raised in strong and traditional Catholic families and were led imprinted to feel shame, the pleasure was okay to a certain extent, but wild, rapturous pleasure was bad, sinful.
And there was a whole inside network, compiled of sensations, buried on top of one another that were trapped in a big ball in both of their nervous systems, in their bodies.
And untangling these sensations, one by one, in both of them, with deep presence, and turning towards them instead of fighting about them, or numbing out with Netflix, or flying away to something else, those sensations were finally MET, and they started to dissolve, and free up, and the network of limitation and stuckage loosened, and got freer and freer, so free will of creating the pleasure filled sex life they knew they were capable of and so deeply desired, WAS BORN.
BOOM! It happens like that.
And this is what it takes; to create the Hot Sex you deeply need and deserve people.
And the truth is you can’t do it alone, or have your friends give you a few words of advice here…this is work for a trained and seasoned expert, not just talk, but actually going through these things to free up difficult sensations so that full pleasure, which is your absolute birthright, can have the full landscape of your body, heart and soul to flow FREELY….and ecstatically as well.
Just imagine yourself having that. The freedom. The ease. Expert guidance, Imagine all the hot sex and love that are truly meant to be yours… waiting for you to decide, and to do the work to claim it.
So tell me, this week, what’s ONE step you can take to get going in the direction of freeing up your body so you too can have all the Hot, delicious and wild sex you are destined for?
