It gets challenging when we run into our conditioning during our sexual experiences…what we’ve been taught about how to love, how to f*ck, suck, and touch, and how much to open, trust, and love.
I went from struggle into some of the most ecstatic and amazing sexual experiences I’ve ever had.
I come from a long line of deep ancestral trauma.
My mother revealed to me in my late teen years that she was seriously molested by five different people growing up.
And in my early twenties, I also uncovered deeply repressed sexual abuse from her as well.
This was in addition to untangling all the inappropriate sexual energy my dad funneled my way, out of frustration that his marriage wasn’t functioning in the way he desired with my mom.
The brutal confusion I felt. And I know I’m not the only one. I hear about it every week.
The guilt and shame-ridden entanglements that lived in my body made sex, love, and intimacy a nightmarish adventure for me at times.
To relive all that pain, and then face it, attend to it, and heal it was NO joke.
I had to:
- experience body memories that my mind had forgotten because things were so shoved down.
- face those body memories with presence, attention, deep care, release, and bring in new resources of safety, and containment to help me literally know I wasn’t crazy, or alone, or that I wasn’t going to die, and that my body was safe, that my sexuality was healthy and that I could express it freely as my soul desired.
- process all the emotions about sex, receiving it, giving it, and loving it so fully.
This was just to start… but it’ what created sustainability in my partnership.
And sustainability in partnership is one of my number one values.
Get this.. 4 out of every 5 people in my client list have had some sort of sexual violation or another. And it’s not just the women, as more men are coming forward too. Almost everyone has love, sex, and closeness issues somewhere.
And then people get together in a relationship, as we do..just like me, and want the amazing sex lives that they see in the movies and media.
And you run into obstacles.
And you wonder what the hell you’re going to do or how to handle it because It cuts so deep because it creates so much connection and goodness when we have great sex, and so many feelings of darkness and shut down and gloom when we don’t.
I see this every day in my work. And it effects everything.
I’ve got your back. And I seriously do get you and this prickly and extremely vulnerable territory.
And here’s the good thing. Even if you’re hopeless right now, even if you wonder how you’ll ever have the partnership, and the high-quality connection I know that you so deeply crave and desire…
If I can heal, I KNOW you can and will too.
It’s not a ‘nice to have,’ it’s your birthright, and doing this work will make you thrive.
If we turn towards those difficulties when they arise during sex, and with expert support, and face them by clarifying exactly what the issue is;
Whether if it’s emotional, or mental, or conditioning from your lineage,
Or maybe it’s in your nervous system and your body sensations during sex feel intolerable.. and you walk towards them, not get rid of it, and actually give it the presence it needs, the love it needs, the care it needs, the space you need for any knots to unfurl and untangle and get clear,
You WILL heal, and I’m not just talking about surviving and being functional.. I’m talking you will THRIVE.
Like I did, becoming sovereign and free from all the past conditioning.
My desires and soul required it.
And started having sustainable, fabulous, pleasure-filled, satisfying, and fulfilling sexual experiences that were hot, and wild, and free…despite everything I had been taught.
I was relentless because I wasn’t about to give up on sex, to deny it, or pretend I didn’t need it or become a nun, which I once considered at the height of my suffering. (that’s another story for another time 🙂 )
And if you’re devoted to doing the work I describe, and you make the decision that you WILL overcome it, and that you DO get to have epic love-making and sex, that birthright will become yours as well.
And not only that, you will contribute to the healing of your relationship, and your family, and the world.
You will provide amazing modeling for your kids.
And if your partner is on board for doing the work it will absolutely double the results.. actually triple or more.. because 1 + 1 is waaaay more than 2. Maybe it is actually infinity. I’m open to working with you or your partner, but ideally you both.
Sexual healing is one of the ways we can become truly liberated. To be free to love and express the fullness of our sexual desires and needs and pleasure. That is your right!
If you claim it.
You DO get to decide.
And the question is, will you?
I want that for you SO much, and I know you do too.
Learning how to resolve sexual traumas is one of the things we cover in The Marriage & Relationship Blueprint ™ program. So you can go from stuck and disconnected, to hot and happy in bed. The ones who are the most courageous get the biggest results and pleasure, if I’m being honest. Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com for more details to see if it’s a fit.
