I’ve got a question for you;
When trouble comes up, do you:
- fight with your partner to keep away from the feelings underneath?
- fly away into screen time, or some other distraction?
- or get numb.. with food, alcohol, drugs, porn or any other addiction?
- something else..(you know your specialty)
We live in a culture of distraction and addiction.
And it’s made it really hard to have true closeness and intimacy in relationship, like you crave.
So instead of tuning out on Netflix next time there’s trouble in your partnership..
You can ask the two things I’m about to share below instead.
You can’t spend more time on any level bypassing the messes because they’re going to get EVEN MORE dramatic, for the sole purpose of, trying to get your attention.
They actually want healing. And they’re not giving up or going away.
It doesn’t work that way.
So you can deny it.. and have more trauma with the drama…
OR…you can ask this of the mess instead, and get even more connection and closeness you desire.
Ready?
First. Stop resisting the mess..because the medicine you seek IS inside the mess you find yourself in. You just have to slow down enough to get it…and you will.
Ask. What’s the complete 180 degree flip of the mess you find yourself in?
For example. You’re in a complete bickering moment with your partner on any given issue.
180 degree flip?
You’re in a total loving and supportive moment with your partner, filled with creativity.
What does this show you?
The true purpose inside of the mess.
The place to go.
The place to head towards with all desire you feel about it.
That’s what you need to cultivate instead.. that’s the secret inside of it.
That’s the medicine in the mess.
Focus on that.
Develop that.
And see…THAT.. is what is underneath the mess.
Trying to get born.
Trying to speak, but not yet with words, but energy.
Trying to come through.
This is CRITICAL if you want more closeness, more intimacy….which I KNOW you do.. because you’re here..
This is not just a ‘nice to have it after all these other things are in place,’
Noooo it is NOT really negotiable.
You could keep telling yourself it’s not really that important…
That when THINGS FROM THE OUTSIDE HAPPENS.. .theeeeeeeen you’ll truly address the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness issues.
And by then you’ll be in what condition.. how will you feel.. watching time go by…wishing it was different…life going by?
Days? Months? Years going by.. not having the most awesome Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you deeply need, desire and deserve?
Really.. you really can’t…nope.. not gonna work…
Who wants to join me this week in inquiring deeper into the mess?
And what’s ONE WAY, you can get started doing that now.
