I’ve been feeling the need all week to say something about this, it’s everywhere, the often codependent, caretaking shadow behind ‘empaths’.

Some people are not going to like this, but I’ve never been good at silencing my mouth when it comes to denied shadow parts, and there’s a lot at stake.

People’s everyday well being.

Couples conflicts.

Health issues.

And what I’ve noticed is a lot of posts lately about how hard it is for empaths at this time.

And I truly do get it, it’s freaking overwhelming and very shocking for a lot of people right now.

And for me, identifying as an empath is missing a TON of discernment, careful discernment that if given, can actually help us regulate our nervous systems far more effectively, create less stress, which ultimately protects our precious immunity at this time.

Specifically, the whole word ’empath,’ is already an identity, or an identification, a way we can take ourselves – a way I used to identify myself.

But there’s a huge difference between being an empath, and being empathic.

I don’t want to be an empath…I do, however, love being empathic.

Being empathic allows me to feel into any given situation, but being an empath can result in a total takeover.

Being empathic allows me the flavor and felt sense of what might be needed on a heart level in a situation -to bring compassion, but being an empath can result in being totally overhwhelmed, stressed, and out of my own body.

Being empathic allows me to choose and have boundaries of where I extend my heart care, but being an empath feels far more like a fixed identity that outsources my power and control to have me be something for others, while feeling inundated, exhausted, tired and nothing left for myself.

No, I do not choose that, no thanks!

The simple difference?
The boundaried discernment.
The sovereignty of where we are putting our precious, effing attention at every single moment.

And what’s definitely needed is the inner resources to hold at quarantine at ‘the front door of ourselves,’ before we take it into our whole being, so we can assess what’s needed, and bring the appropriate guidance, gaurdian-ing at whatever is needed so we can truly be empathic.

That is truly compassionate!

If we are overwhelmed and drowning in the identification of being an empath, what good are we to ourselves and those we serve?

We may be inadvertently caretaking and codepency-ing in our identity instead and that helps no one.

I am seeing empath overwhelm this week, and I have tremendous compassion for the cause, but I will not lose my agency to create wellness for myself each moment, and it’s not something anyone of us can really afford at this time either.

Neither should you.

I’m especially watching it with couples, and those in relationship. And there’s huge opportunity to redefine what we take on every moment, if you’re wanting to optimally thrive.