I can usually feel whatever the unrest is with my clients and intuitively where it’s located within a few minutes of them working with me.
So when Tim and Bryce came to see me after being together seven years, both mega high powered careers and two children, age eight and six, I knew where to begin, right with the complaints, the disconnection but also to regrow the love they clearly had too, that they didn’t want to lose.. and so, we got to work very quickly.
They were wanting more closeness, more connection.. and had been feeling their love dwindling amidst the demands of family life.
There was the typical subtle blame and critiques I often see in couples, along with challenges in being vulnerable and undefended.
And there was this undercurrent of anxiety and unrest that pervaded all the discussions. And I wasn’t sure how aware of it they were.. or how deep they had gone into it.. So I decided to ask about the kids.
And then the reactivity heated up.
“They’re just so needy. They gobble up all the energy we have. And they just never seem to want to chill and be calm.”
Here we were..right at the crux..overwhelmed parents..feeling anxious..not supported in being to simply chill..and then the kids have the same pattern. Your kids will reflect the patterns that you currently have, right back at you.
It’s more prevalent than you think.
We inquired into that pattern.
They felt the same energy in their kids, as was inside them.
I helped them see their kids behaviors as an expression of their own, so they could see how it was playing out, so they could heal it.
And worked to resource, self-sooth and contain their own anxiety which stemmed from their own growing up patterns.
They strengthened their commitment to be healthy.
To handle their stuff.
To face their behaviors, and see the impact, and to help their family have more ease, peace and calm.
And like 100% of these cases before this one, the kids completely followed suit, and at the end of our three months of coaching together, they were happier, lighter.. and the kids became some of the most chill kids I’ve seen.
A huge turnaround for sure!
And Tim and Bryce, well let’s just say it’s pretty amazing to see how clearing up the anxiety freed them up for mega watt love, connection and hot sex like they hadn’t had in a loooong time.
They learned to tolerate the anxiety in their body by learning to bring presence right in the sensations of discomfort, and how that shifted into ease which then flowed through their body, and into their hearts and minds, affecting feelings, thoughts and how they behaved interpersonally, and then that affected the children.
Now seriously, isn’t it your turn..to transform the negative energies and dynamics in your family and get on with the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness you KNOW you’re meant to have…
While having chill and calm in your family…
Now that brings a big sigh of relief and a smile to my face…
And I want you to have your own version of it..deeply!
Because you need it and your kids need it.. much more than ever.
And then you can be the hero of helping them have the relationship future filled with all the Hot Sex, Love and Closeness they deserve while paving the way for them..
The ripple effect of the future of your happy children and your own relationship peace rests in your hands…
What’s one way you can work to self-soothe and bring down your anxiety this week?
