I want to tell you about my clients Mel and Mia.
They were parents in their late 30s with two daughters.
And when I first met them, there was something they felt was missing from their relationship. They described it as {and maybe you recognize your own relationship in them}
– a lack of vitality,
– a feeling of the juiciness not being there in the way they wished,
And it was really painful for them because they wanted so much to feel more integrated, to feel happier and to turn up the volume on their hot sex, love and closeness.
As I listened to them, not only with my mind, but with my heart and my full body, I became aware of a tightness in my central channel, (The area from my third eye all the way down the center of my body to my root).
I often sit with the different sensations in my body, and the feelings that come up when I sit with every client or couple.
No two are alike, and from my years of training and experience, I have learned to let what comes up in my field speak to me and inform me about what might be going on with the couple.
As I sat with this sensation and experienced, I noticed that there was a flatness in the couple.
And I was really curious about it.
Curiosity is one of the main awakened qualities that I believe ends the problem of knowing what the other person thinks or what you “know is going on” in your part of the dynamic.
So often what we think we know, isn’t really what’s going on at all but something entirely different.
And in this couple as I asked them what they would like to experience more of, I notice this experience in my central channel becoming more loose, and a little bit softened.
That told me that I was on the right path.
I listened in, and moved closer into really hearing them more deeply.
Mel started.
“I just feel like we’re not maximizing all the hard work we’ve been doing. It feels like it only goes so far and I wish there was more that we could do to increase the vitality in our life, our energy, to have more creativity and family and at work and in our community. We really need more creativity and more energy all across the board, but sometimes it’s just so overwhelming. “
I asked Mia a similar question and her response was very similar.
She said, “It only goes so far all of our efforts and I don’t understand why. But I do want it to go farther. But I feel like we’re stuck here.”
I then asked them from all of my years of working with trauma and attachment issues, what the feelings were like in their body.
And wouldn’t you know, the next thing they were sharing with me was exactly the same sensation that was in my central channel.
They described it to the ‘T’.
We began to work with it by really inquiring as to what those sensations were in the center.
Both of them were willing to look right within and see that those sensations seem to be able to only go so far and it mirrored what was happening in their life with some decent enough hot sex, love and closeness, but not enough in the way that they wanted to have a larger field of connection and relating, creating in their lives, and discovery.
So I guided them to be very present to the edges of those central channels.
And as we kept bringing presence to them, flow started to happen, the dissolution of the hard edge started to happen and movement started to happen.
This is really wonderful because they were doing it together and from my understanding of family systems combined with trauma work and nervous system understanding they began to co-create a healing and intimately connected nervous system that would guide their challenging spots into deeper flow and creation, which is exactly what they wanted.
We kept working with the edges of the heart and sensation, and it kept dissolving and moving into more flow.
Eventually, there were lots of wonderful physical movement happening in the session.
Arms were moving, bodies were moving, a little untraditional for what people think of when it comes to talk therapy or coaching.. but well, #thatsme
Sure I talk with people, but the real multi-dimensional change work definitely expresses itself in a different manifestation than probably anything like you’ve ever seen before because it’s what I know gets the biggest results, and is why so much of talk therapy only relationships fails.
Both Mel and Mia really desired to capitalize on the power of what connected sex, love and closeness brings, to work, to friendships, to family, to community, to healing, also to softening, repairing and ease together in connection.
We kept working with the hardened sensations right at the edge of where things had only gone so far.
And we all witnessed, with how the entire circle of their lives shifted, there was a huge blossoming that happened, opportunities opened, relationships became larger and more generous, their community was truly flowering in connection and deep care; all the things they had wanted, all by learning the power of generating the goodness of what was already there into more of what they deeply desired.
This is absolutely available for you as well.
If you’re reading this and going ‘wow I really want that, can I have that?’..or even if you’re reading this and feeling further gone than this couple you can STILL have it.
The answer is, yes you can have that, it’s your birthright to have it, you deserve to have it, and somewhere in there you really need to have it as well, there becomes a point where it is no longer negotiable.
And I know from having done this work so deeply inside my own self, with my husband, in our relationship, in all the places where it was so so challenging and so edgy, the other side is full of softness, closeness, vitality, a powerful field of co-care, co-connection, co-curiosity and co-discovery and ultimately a relationship that is better than I ever knew it could be.
This is what’s available to you, and it’s right here in the containers that I hold that I am inviting you to step into now.
So that you can have the hot sex, love and closeness that you desire, and not only that, but you can utilize it to generate even more powerful healing in all the places that need it all over your life.
That is worth its weight in gold.
What is ONE thing you’re going to do this week to start to create a bigger vision for the life you want?
I myself, am going to take some time on revisiting my vision of how I would like my life to be. And then I’m going to look at my relationship to see what can be generated from there, because I know how powerful it is, and I value the power of creativity and decision making to truly have what we desire.
Now it’s your turn.
