- They never think that they would have a hard time doing successful relationship because success reigns supreme in all other areas of their lives. They’ve got the hot shot business, they’re head of start ups, they’re great parents…but the relationship has not been the easiest thing.
- They underestimated the internal emotional, interpersonal and somatic resources that it would take to have the kind of success in the relationship world they are used to having everywhere else.
- They overlook the reality that the things that haven’t been working well in the partnership realm are right now especially amplified, all over the place and it’s not pretty, easy or going away.
I totally understand all of this so deeply.. and yes.. it’s super important to see through the veils that have made it so you can’t see these things!
It’s non-negotiable, necessary, and right now I’m seeing those who have done the very tough work of facing their whole selves, their challenges and obstacles – they’re thriving right now, they’re feeling good, and they are making major medicine out of this darkness and enjoying those pearls of wisdom, born from the rub and irritation of challenge.
And in cases where there’s been any degree of distraction, addiction (of any kind, not just the obvious), fighting the reality, flying away or being numb (even to small degrees), it’s been extremely hard and troublesome, and I can only imagine it will continue to be this way, and my heart goes out to all those affected – we are living in unprecedented times!
And my guess is that the super successful ones think they should have figured it all out by now, solved the issue and be getting ‘on with it,’ like their successful jobs and starts ups and the like.
But they’re missing out on EXACTLY what’s needed to get the successful relationship results they want because they’re too smart to really see what’s missing on a realm that’s not their expertise, genius or obsession, but it is mine!
It comes super naturally to me that it might be annoying or infuriating to some people!
Things like;
HOW to assess what truly causing the disconnect, and even more so what’s needed to resolve it fully this time
HOW to develop the emotional and somatic resources to regulate the couples connection, so that the alone places inside of each person actually get what they need and can finally relax and come home to love, s*x, closeness and so much more.
WHAT to do to get at the real root of what’s going on, (and no it’s not going further into your attachment style – there are things far more inceptive and causal of relationship disturbance that almost no one addresses, but so deeply affects everyone).
And how the actual EFF to get through this quarantine and become closer to each other, in a healthy way, and have date nights even if you have kids.
I really see these things as being glossed over, especially right now and just not looked it in most inner work that people need to do, and it causes a lot of self blame, frustration, unnecessary separations and divorces, and untold, countless hours of heartache and being lost in conflict and disconnection
I understand how easy it is to just think things are going to improve, or hide under the shame veneer of I should have it all figured out by now.
So if you’re truly over being stuck, confused and ready to banish yourself to the bedroom during this quarantine period of time, while still hoping that career success will sort of carry you over…
If you’re looking at the bathroom tub and wondering if you can silently run your company, ensconced in water, with a few odd protein bars shoved under the door from your partner, while you can’t bear to look at them right now for the rest of quarantine…
PM me and say “I’m ready for relationship mastery,” if you want to have a conversation about how I can legit help you get through this and onto solid relationship ground.
Be smart enough to admit what isn’t your easy thing, or successful thing, so you can finally master it, like you know you want to in exactly the way you’ve always needed.
I know you can.. and you will.
