Author: Joanna Intara

No one doing intimacy work is talking about how important it is to be uniquely supported in and discovering what your relationship’s unique polarity ACTUALLY IS.

And then how to really play with it for healing, creativity, and liberation magic, specifically for YOU. And you both!

In love-making,

In conscious and profound intimacy,

And in love,

And who am I kidding, life!

I’ve had a lot to say about polarity teachings for a while.

The outdated Alpha males don’t like it.

The traditional gurus feel threatened.

The submissive femmes judge me and tell me I’m not in my feminine. (umm, that’s not feminine).

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Because they aren’t ready to open their hearts to the truth that each couple needs and desires their own path for polarity in their unique partnership.

But I have because I had to start with me.

I don’t like either this or that mentality, because it didn’t work for me.

I don’t like the gender ‘appropriated’ role assignments (…yawn).

There’s no creative range!

Polarity has huge ranges in multiple dimensions and directions those dimensions,  and most people are just teaching a few ideas about it.

It’s boring.

It’s so true what Maya Angelou says, “we learn our path by walking it.”

I had to create, and we had to create our unique places to play based upon our unique wounding, and healing/liberation for our desires.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

Sexually.

Somatically.

Karmically.

Dharmically. (as in what we are here to share with others.)

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Some of those constellated as different themes and roles that we only discovered by learning how they lived in each of us.

That took time, learning, discovery, and then leading from experience and desire.

It took Mentorship in very safe, regulated spaces, and with someone who could help us HOLD the multi-dimensional spaces of being the human COUPLE that WE ARE.

That you are.

Part of my healing journey was to learn how to have equanimity with our healing/wounded intersecting places.

From there I could see what needed to be played with for the ultimate healing, ultimate turn-on, and ultimate liberation, inside the relationship!

And let me share, that has been the biggest kink, the biggest turn-on.

That hotness ain’t gonna be found in traditional polarity work.

Sorry // NOT sorry.

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It is found in the safe haven container to have someone who ACTUALLY EMBODIES experience not just healing, but deep creativity, and also the desire for deep inside liberation with and through it all.

That is a really rare human being.

I haven’t met any except me and the only program I know that attends to this in spades, with multiple levels of support in all the things that go into this, is my Marriage & Relationship Blueprint journey because you know,

1. Secure attachment work
2. Somatic sovereignty work in the earliest of primary places (as in the earliest little one within)
3. Curated and UNIQUE-TO-YOU and you both, Erotic Polarity Development
4. Attachment Wounding/Injuries Repair & Repatterning
5. ONE-OF-A-KIND Karma/Dharma Keys to you and you both.
6. Your Unique Astro & Eros Love Codes
7. Divine Love Cultivation Keys are given your unique spiritual journey
8. Bliss Curation Blueprint, (your bliss path is NOT what everyone else’s is and neither is the dissatisfaction conditioning of not having it)
9. Relationship & Connection/Intimacy Cellular Reprogramming from the earliest of connection times in this human life.  The primary connection is everything! This is the Holy Grail of Quintessential Partnership Transformation no one is talking about because MOST don’t do it.

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I have NO idea, why even considering a one-dimensional mainstream coaching container would ever serve the unique being that is you and the unique partnership that you have.

YOUR JOURNEY

YOUR KARMA

YOUR MAGIC

YOUR HEALING

YOUR CREATIVE DESIRES

YOUR LIBERATION THROUGH THE HEALING PATH.

I have come to realize how incredibly rare and precious this work is, the weaving, the curation, and the multiple dimensions I work in to support you in resolving what you need and desire.  I’ve had 35+ years plus over 35,000 thousand hours of actual face-to-face client experience doing this work.

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And because of how incredibly rare this is, to have the containership with my genius at your back and with your heart, if you have been wanting to work work with me for a while, now is the time to lock in my current rates.  I am increasing rates for all my programs beginning in September.  My heart is catching up with my magic.

And it’s time for your relationship love magic, the kind you know is in there somewhere to get the valuing and honing it requires to BE as well.

Look no further.

 

I am the best person for you and you both.

 

It’s time to learn how to actually HAVE the epic love-making, the conscious intimacy and divine love you desire, deserve and long for.

 

If you desire support with creating hot AF, your unique turn on relationship shifting polarity, with playing with it all in all the places that call out for it, I’m a message away.

Serious inquiries only.

It’s not just that the divine love-making you desire is your birthright, as I said last week.

It’s that it is your birthright AT ANY AGE.

Not just when you’ve got twenty-something youth on your side.

Or thirty-something more wisdom with still youth on your side.

But It’s your birthright at 40 when midlife approaches and you start to face your mortality, including all the love-making, intimacy, and sex YOU STILL WANT TO HAVE…even if you’ve had plenty!

The delicious, just right amount of tension you desire to be held with, physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually…just right there… that amount.

So many women don’t know how to bring the divine visions they have for their romance and partnership journey into form.

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I was one of them.

My mother only gave me models of what to NOT want when it came to how I perceived myself as a woman no longer in her prime of youth, navigating all things love-making, intimacy, and love in partnership.

ONLY of what I would for sure… NOT choose…

But what did I desire?

And what do you desire?

See that desire in your imagination.

All of it.

Feel that desire drip down into your body.

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Identify WHERE in your body your desire lives.

Shoulder, heart, womb?

And WHAT is the sensation of that desire?

Can you be curious, aware, observe, present, and BE with that sensation?

And then what happens?

And how long can you follow it, building potency, and energy, until it is showing up in your relationship with your beloved?

This is IT.

There is an undeniable power in a woman at peace with her desires for what she wants in life – especially when it comes to love-making, intimacy, and love.

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Or anything else!

Right now I’m owning my power to be a cycle breaker in the embodiment of my passion, my love, my wisdom, my power, and in my EMBODIMENT… in a lineage where no one has demonstrated that for me.

But I’m doing it anyway.

And I’m proud to be embodying it after age 50!

I stand tall in my love, fire, indestructible strength, and grace.

And I have no apologies, shame, or living effs left to give.

Bye-bye accommodation based on shifting myself around for anything.

And I don’t believe you should either.

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No matter what anything looks like.

Sheer power this is for us hot women, hot mamas and matriarch’s in becoming.

This is the front lines of what it means to be living right into your birthright to have the fantastic love-making you desire… it’s still your birthright at 40, 50, 60 and til the day you die for real.

Who’s standing with me?

Are you ready to have yours?  Let’s chat. https://joannaintara.com/pp/

So many women don’t trust that the ecstatic lovemaking they dream of is their birthright, but it is.

Trusting this vision and dream is absolutely one of the most powerful things you can do.  I work on it daily, as my desires, and yours, are always revealing ourselves TO ourselves,

Unapologetic,

Unashamed,

UnWounded, how I keep hearing it…

I remember when I was deconditioning such massive imprints in this.

I came from a mother who was sexually assaulted when she was young, and along with my dad funneling inappropriate love energy into my heart, sandwiched with the same patriarchal BS that we’re all unwinding, made it hard for me to trust;

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That is the way I wanted to be loved as possible,

That the way I wanted to be touched was possible,

That the way I desire to be related to was possible,

That the way I deeply desired to be made love to was possible,

That the way I wanted to be safe and secure in all this was possible,

It took me a long time to trust.

But I know now that my ecstatic dreams are not random BS being deposited in my psychic inbox.

They are directly from the source, and from the god and goddess themselves.

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Why would they be put into me or you if they were a problem?

The only problem for us all are the ones that get plastered into our hearts by the ones that have other agendas for our hearts, which sometimes, often and sadly they do,

But there is a sacred remedy,

And it’s that I  kept sensually  desiring what I desired,

And kept leaning into the trust,

And healthy self-talk, ‘Yes, this is my birthright,’

‘It is MY birthright all these desires,’

And sensing that throughout my entire body,

From root to sacral, to solar plexus, to heart, to voice, to intuition and crown, all the way up,

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And these desires, that you have,

That women I work with secretly  tell me they have,

They are your birthright too.

You can trust them, give them full reign to be,

Because they are the desires of an Ecstatic Queen,

And she is destined by simply being born to have in full the ecstatic lovemaking desires lighting up your soul.

Have you let yours out lately?

To yourself?  To your beloved other?  To your soul?

And how much?

Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com if you’re interested, and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

She’s not trying to hurt you when you open up, but you’re convinced she is, and the same old activation stories get whipped up and cause nothing but pain. 

You’re missing the giant vulnerabilities all around that haven’t been addressed or dignified to release the pressure around the tender underneath.

And it’s SOOO hard to do this in a culture that has yet to reckon collectively with vulnerability, but we are the creators of culture, you, me, and how we relate with this material, right here and right now.  

Let’s start there.

First of all, you’re trying to do something that can feel very HARD to your body.  Our bodies are designed to protect us.  If something seems dangerous to us, we will go into self-protection mode, even if we don’t want to.

Unfortunately, we are 100% responding to templates of the past when we are in activation. Take that in. The thing your mind is convinced is going on (and it’s corresponding activation and entanglements)  is located in the past, and its real reason that it’s here is not to mess with you, it’s to get you to see it, so it can be carefully untangled to reveal what’s underneath.

Of course, when the underneath hasn’t ever really been safely addressed, then we easily get pounded into all our familiar mind spin, or what I call ‘activation whip-up material.’ I say that because that’s how my clients describe it.

And so, we lack language and safety to being to say,

“I FEEL VULNERABLE.”

It’s the hardest thing to say and dignify, but that is EXACTLY it needs and will never go away until it gets it.

And so when you are convinced she’s trying to hurt you, you notice this is a story. (because you’ve seen it so many times.)
And you know it is not true, because it is always the same story in multiple scenarios, not just with this partner, but in your life.  

You reflect on yourself…” I see I always think she’s trying to hurt me. It feels awful, and I can see it’s not just that I’ve felt that way towards her… I’ve felt this familiar energy my whole life. It really isn’t all about her.  What might it be about for me?

And you grant the acknowledgment that it feels unsafe.
You can see it feels like there is danger, but instead of acting out the danger as if it is true, you stop yourself and go one step before it with your new awareness.  

You reflect again to yourself….” I have a new awareness that this is always my mental go-to place.  Always.  I see that I feel unsafe.  And when I do, I can now say I feel unsafe or acknowledge that I feel vulnerable.  And so I’ll tell her that right now. ‘When you talk to me about this, I feel vulnerable.'”

And you dignify the feeling of vulnerability.

And you do this because for your whole life you haven’t done that.  You can see you’ve bypassed it, fought against it, accused the other, told a story to get you away from it, numbed yourself from it, or been excessively caretaking (fawning) when you’ve felt it.  In the privacy of your own mind, you admit that to yourself first. And you admit your unique version of it.

You continue to reflect and now say to your partner, “I want to honor my vulnerability and yours.  I want to stay right here with it, breath by breath (as I did with my clients today), until it feels more stable to simply BE with it.  I don’t want to rush past it into anything.” 

And you continue to practice because it takes that, and it is part of what helps the muscle build.  

And you get support to stabilize into the new place because that is what helps it get integrated, included, strengthened, and supported.

And you won’t be perfect about it, and even though this might seem counterintuitive, you expect slip-ups.  Why?  Because it’s wise and you are not a robot, and it’s not a linear progression, but a trend…and when you do these things, make no mistake, you are;

<<< The New Trendsetter of Vulnerability Culture>>>
…right inside your own partnership, and beyond that it, impacts the world, and my heart is compelled to thank you for your part.

Now, I wish that insight would shift this like I hear so often in the coaching world, but really… if it was going to, it would have by now.  “Be open, be real, be vulnerable …. “and the worst labeling of this.. “Just freaking do it…” And I hear my clients say, ‘well no shit Sherlock if I could do it, I would have.”  It’s not THAT easy.  

It takes these skills above plus a whole lot more to implement them. It takes embodiment and space. It takes a synthesis of understanding how to work with the mind, help it become liquid, and create a culture inside and between two people, with inspired solutions coming from there.  It’s not easy and should not be taken flippantly.

And when you want amazing intimacy and love, and profound sexual connection, it’s not a question of whether the vulnerability can be something you just don’t integrate. It’s essential. And it will mess up your chances at creating the relationship you desire because the protection layers above it are full of self-sabotaging and relationship undoing behaviors and constellations.  Trust me; I’ve lived them and seen them thousands of times over.

Helping coaches, entrepreneurs and professionals go from fixed mindsets, beliefs or stories about what their partner is trying to do them and acting out in the partnership to dropping way below the mind, and into a safely created heart, to respectfully dignify and work with all the vulnerable places with ease, simplicity and returning a ton of relief and connection is what we do in my 3 months private, hybrid 1:1 and group program. And what happens is MASSIVE life force gets freed up to create the love, connection, and sexual connection that’s most wanted.  Not only that, it lights it on fire in the best way.  Just imagine the possibilities that can open up for you.  Vulnerability integrated and dignified produces sustainable tenderness, open-heartedness, love, connection, solutions, deep care, radical love, and so much more.  These are beyond price, truly.  Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com if you’re interested, and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

“Where in God’s name are you?

Don’t you see the tasks and things that I obviously need help with?!?… so beyond irritated at not noticing them going on over there.,” said almost every other couple, especially with kids, that I’ve ever seen.

No, it’s not about him failing you or not being the right person; it’s that you haven’t really connected about what kind of relationship you BOTH really want to experience, especially when it comes to mutual support and building the embodied connecting bridges from there.

But you can. And you must, because if you don’t, you’ll be in mutual complaint hell, and that is one of the fastest ways to destroy a perfect love relationship.

First, have you both ever really sat down and decided…

1- “What kind of relationship do we genuinely wish to create?

2- What kind of relationship sexually and erotically?

3- What kind of relationship emotionally, mentally?

4- And in the physical realms of life?

5- What kind of lifestyle do we want?

6- And how about financially?

7- And spiritually or religiously?

And what are our values about as many things as possible, including how we navigate challenges which are typical to come up in relationships?”

You’d be surprised how many people don’t ask and can fall into the connection without real-time set aside for this. It seems enough to find someone you’re attracted to, and that’s attracted to you, and maybe a few things match up. And sort of hope that there’s enough to go off from there. That’s honestly a lot of people and couples out there.

But after the honeymoon period wears off, then the real issues often come up.

It’s essential to assess if you’re truly on the same path.

1- Do you want enough of the same things?

2- Do you value enough of the same things?

3- Are your desires not only compatible but compelling?

4-How are your differences?

5-And most importantly, do you have both the resources to navigate what can really arise?

As you navigate these questions, and definitely with support, a potency of truth begins to gather.

Do you feel that?

What do you sense between the two of you?

What does your partner sense?

And have you let yourselves BE completely honest?

You’ll arrive at something. Enough clarification, enough of a knowing, and enough of a connection that you are ALIGNED, and there IS enough resonance.

And from there, you start the bridge-building process.

For example, do we want a relationship where we support each other? Yes, or no. If so, where, and how do we want to do that? What do we agree upon? What agreements run our relationship show, and if we’re not keeping those, what are our agreements then?

This is all to make what we are doing CONSCIOUS. And if there are snafus around support issues coming up, THAT part of your relationship bond and agreement has yet to be made clear.

And, it’s an ongoing process, honestly. My husband and I are constantly checking in with our agreements, desires, and needs that are always evolving. We continuously upgrade if we want the relationship to stay alive, fresh, and lit up, which we do because it’s a precious treasure.

This is what a conscious, evolving partnership looks like otherwise, you’re left to convenience, convention, and very often, this equals running things from our conditioned self, not our creative self. No thanks, not for me either.

And when you want a fantastic partnership filled with hot sex, with lovingness, with intimacy, and the kind of fresh connecting that is vitalizing, inspiring, and sacred, you attend to this.

And look, there’s a lot the coaching world has to say about a situation like this with needs not getting met, but I’ve noticed very few coaches that take a HUGE step back to assess the larger picture. It’s why I have a very extensive questionnaire before I ever work with a couple so I can deeply receive all this kind of information before we ever meet face to face. It’s how I know exactly where to pinpoint the beginning of the work without wasting your precious time and investment. And that’s one of my HUGE integrity values.

And when you want an amazing partnership filled with hot sex, with lovingness, with intimacy, and the kind of fresh connecting that is vitalizing, inspiring, and sacred, you attend to this. And when you do, you will be so happy because there will be less drama, and more love, less irritation and more tenderness, more creativity in your connection, and less sabotaging and undoing.

Helping you go from irritation that their needs aren’t getting met and wondering if you’re even on the same planet to becoming extremely conscious and clear of what actual relationship you both truly desire to have and becoming embodied to actually create it is what we do in my three months private, hybrid 1:1 and group program for coaches, entrepreneurs and professionals. Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com for more details to see if it’s a fit.

You’ve gotten into a difficult place with your partner, again. A wonderful evening that started out with fun and adventure, that then veered into THAT conversation that brought up vulnerable feelings. And then, he/she gets anxious about it, seemingly coming after you, and you avoid saying you’ll talk about it tomorrow. Or, it’s in reverse.

And if you only knew that everyone is operating from attachment styles (that govern how we do relationships, relating and vulnerability), and that almost 85% of the population has an insecure attachment style, you’ll be well on your way to not having to go to those difficult places so much.

We get education in school for apparently academics, home Ec, accounting, but nothing on relationship skills, (or child-raising for that matter) which is a crazy set up for everyone since relationships are everything and how we navigate them determines the outcomes on health, finances, and happiness. Even the coaching world is amiss with the prevalence of this syndrome operating how people do business. The world has yet to catch on in a bigger way.

Understanding how to navigate these scenarios successfully can be learned, it’s not your fault, and yet, you can have the capacity to learn, observe, integrate and rewire these underlying

Here’s how.

First, and I help my clients with this, you have to be willing to learn which style you are; insecure -anxious, insecure – avoidant, secure, or disorganized. And you can identify which type you are by looking at how you act when there is vulnerability and relationship challenge. Do you lean in for support? Do you cling and get anxious for an immediate? (i.e. ‘We really need to talk now, this minute’) Do you avoid, dismiss or deflect? (I don’t wanna do this now, talk to you in a couple days’) Or do you have some of both with other responses that seem contradictory? I.e. anxiety, dismissal, numbness. Secure couples lean in for mutual support and give it. Anything other than that represents an insecure style.

When you read this, do you resonate with one more than the other? Think back to your last edgy spot with your partner, your last conflict. What characterizes your actions, words and behaviors? How do you feel inside? You’ll see which one speaks strongest to you.

The thing is that each style is working to defend and protect something. And it is the work to find out what that is. Anxious styles are afraid of abandonment and being left alone, whereas avoidant styles are the opposite. They don’t want to feel engulfed, invaded or overtaken. The truth is both feel insecure and very often in a relationship one can attract the other. Opposites can attract for healing, and beyond that create incredible sexual friction and polarity. And this can be a portal into that, if you decide to look at what perceived vulnerability you are really protecting with your style.

And more than that, look into what history may have led to that protection style (what I like to call it instead of attachment), because that’s really what it is. Was your primary experience one of being left alone in vulnerable situations? Or maybe it was of being engulfed, entrapped or taken over by a primary caregiver. And then identifying what feelings and overwhelm may be stuck in your body that needs help getting cleared, rewired and resolved. Those have to get addressed, otherwise the roots of this disconnect won’t be resolved.

And when you do that, you can start to own the pattern at the edges of vulnerability that would make the old thing play out. You can voice the vulnerability of the anxious one, “I’m afraid you’re going to bolt out of this conversation and not wanna talk about it for three days”. Or the avoidant one can speak more honestly, “I’m afraid you’re trying to force me to stay here and I feel vulnerable.” It’s a start.

You keep doing these things, and then it can become easier to be more vulnerable while being emotionally and somatically resourced to walk through that together and to lean into mutual care and support with each other, rather than the strategies you once learned a long time ago. And that opens up lots of new conversations that have more space inside of them, more openness, more self reflection, more honesty, and because the intersecting attachment patterns aren’t unconsciously running the show, there’s far more creativity. And THAT, is where resolutions come from, because there is more freed up life-force and I call it love-force energy, free to create the desires of your partnership and relationship heart. Yum!

Now look, this isn’t easy. And what I’ve seen out there and what my clients tell me is that a book doesn’t resolve this. A single focus coaching program (that’s not THIS focus) is not resolving this for them either. And most weekend workshops might start to speak a line or two about this, but none provide the in-depth containment and emotional support and personalized safety that each couple needs. A plant medicine session can provide tremendous euphoria, but as far as integrating this material, I’ve seen it kick this material up for people, but have zero integration support and leave people far more disintegrated and ultimately disorganized in their attachment/protective style. It bothers me because I know the value of a secure relationship (having worked through massive disorganized and multiple intergenerational attachment wounding and injuries myself) and it’s one of the most precious gifts and resources to give yourself to have this, embodied and available for yourself. Spiritual retreats might help you become more mindful, but again, where is the necessary integrative support for THIS area? Where are the trained meditation teachers who are also experts at this? I’ve seen very very few. This is not an area that can be spiritually bypassed, sexually bypassed (I’ve tried both), nor hope it goes away over time. I saw one client choose to blame his partner and go through two marriages in the time I worked with him, and was not ready to face and this until marriage number 3 was about to go down the toilet. You don’t have to go down that path. And, if you’re open to being courageous, bravehearted and willing you will get you there faster.

And look, if you want super satisfying sex, love and closeness, this work is a non-negotiable piece of the peace and super-satisfaction pie. Feeling secure in partnership in the vulnerable love places, the vulnerable sex places, and the vulnerable intimacy and emotional places is worth it’s weight in gold and there are foundational pieces (which happen to be my expertise) that you can’t not do! Fortunately, with me, you get my expertise in this area, and personally curated 30,000 hours and 35 years of experience and Intimacy Alchemy genius to help you integrate it as simply and efficiently as possible. Not only that, this work bomb-proof’s your relationship from needless and countless conflicts and periods of painful disconnection that end up sabotaging your relationship over time and destroying love. Not necessary! I guarantee that this particular part of the work closes major gaps of connection between you two, and that is super satisfying on so many levels.

In my 3 month private, hybrid 1:1 and group program, I help coaches, entrepreneurs and professionals figure out how to specifically unearth, roto rooter, heal and dissolve the most disconnecting of relationship protection patterns and then move from the fallout and failing to give each other what the relationship needs to thrive, into real, sustainable, sex love and closeness. In addition, we address the corresponding trauma, mind, body and heart patterns that go with this, and thoroughly rewire them, along with decoding precisely what the root cause of the vulnerable disconnection is. Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com if you’re interested and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

Do Not Despair My Loves,

I’m sitting here feeling incredible good fortune for having received all the difficult karmas I’ve had to deal with.

I know each of us has our version.

Our unique soul journey

And the lessons that go with it

When we keep rubbing the genie – genius of our soul, THROUGH working through our humanity,

 our true medicine and awakening genius and contributions come through.

It’s what I believe we each, deep down wish for….underneath it all.

And the incredible thing is, that most people overlook,

Is that it’s REALLY WORTH IT to do it.

That there’s only ONE of you, 

That you have a very necessary and unique medicine for the whole,

That is absolutely necessary and essential to our wholeness,

There is a unique piece of the one-love wholeness in you,

You hold a piece of the freedom of the whole

And a piece of the ecstasy of the soul in your full deliverance

And the keys to your liberation

You do.

Where do you want to put that?

From where do you want to find it?

Where are the places that will give you the raw fodder?

In Life

In Love

In Business

In Relationship

In the world?

Go get them,

Wait not to be hunted

But hunt instead

For the essence that makes any inside imprisonment worth liberating from and liberating from inside of it on out

For this,

THIS is what will save you,

And relieve you of any despair.

There will be no time for any of that

There will only be timelessness

In this wholeness and oneness

There IS

Love-ness

Being-ness

Nothing-ness

Aware-ness

Empti-ness

And the delightful world of creative form

Somewhere in there we make our choice

To Triumph,

Even though, even though 1,000,000 times…

There is nothing

But sweet essence here…

And I want to lick and savor every morsel..

In all the flavors of this life

And let it return me only, ALL the way home.

Here, there is no despair

Because nothing has ever been left, and nothing

has ever been missing.

The coaching industry’s standard on mindset to change everything is missing some serious foundational pieces that make me want to scream from the rooftops..”𝐼𝑇’𝑆 𝑁𝑂𝑇 𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑅 𝐹𝐴𝑈𝐿𝑇 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐷𝑆𝐸𝑇 𝐼𝑆𝑁’𝑇 𝑊𝑂𝑅𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺…” and then blanket you in a warm-hearted, forgiving embrace.

And while you’re feeling that…

Know this!  

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 (𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑡, 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑) 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑..𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓, 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑦..

Look, I know you’ve been guided to just ‘get on with it,’ and ‘get your damn mindset correct,’ and everything else will just flow from there.  

…𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒙 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔.

…𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 (𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔) 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍  𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏’ ‘𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.’

I see this every day.

I see how hard you’ve worked.

How relentlessly and disciplined you’ve been with mindset, and how deeply hopeful you’ve been that if you just jump through the next hoop, it’ll all come through – everything you’ve been wishing and wanting for, right?

I’ve been a classic case study.  No matter how much mindset work I did (and let me share, I worked my mind off), all the soul-satisfying success I dreamed of in work and romantic relationship eluded me.

Each day I was diligent. 

 I sat at my altar. 

 I made my intentions clear. 

 I meditated and did thousands of prostrations and visualizations. 

 I scripted how I wanted everything to be. 

 I was so deeply devoted, probably like you have been. 

 I recorded my sacred, scripted prayers on apps, and then listened to them non stop, even while sleeping.

But I couldn’t manifest any of those things upon a foundation where some of the very successes I wanted – more income, and a more connected partnership 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒙.    

You’ve probably been dealing with this same burden.

You know what that feels like.  

 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙.  𝐼𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑠.  𝐼𝑡’𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑜 𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙..

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 – 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦, 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩.

I know you want to flip the switch dear loves, and you’ve been fed the mindset fixes it all story – but there is a story underneath all the minds that exist in the world.  

𝐼𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.

𝐼𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦.

𝐼𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.

𝐼𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑠.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑.

Moment by moment.

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑈𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑎 𝑠𝑘𝑦𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝.  

Real foundation.

Which makes real sustainability.

Like I did.  Each place where the foundation of the heart, body, and nervous system lives, needs our presence, awareness, and caring, compassionate, and resourced self.

Like my clients do.  Facing the body.  Turning towards it with love, care, presence, and awareness.

This is what creates true roots inside you, true present moment, safe infrastructure – what helps flip the feel good center to GOOD from the sludge you’ve been unnecessarily swamping through.

No more spinning your wheels.  

This is how it works.

And the space I hold for this unfoldment to happen is exactly my magic.

Drop the best fed up with mindset only GIF to find out more.

Bliss Is A Journey of Choices

Bliss is not some shaktified, colonized, imperialized consumable state.

Bliss is not all bon bons and orgasms all day while being fanned on a plush velvet couch with champagne at the ready.

Bliss is not all ease and excitement as money comes rolling in.

Bliss is not relegated to the wealthy, spiritual, or meditators only among us.

Bliss is not a fantasy or only for the lucky.

Bliss is not only for those who want nirvana.

And it’s definitely not only for living in a transcendent cloud all day either.

Bliss isn’t something you get in training.

It’s something that is born through your own deep and honest soul journey.

It is ecstasy for the journey of having a soul, and the reward for being complete, thorough, and doing the work to release this core ecstasy by seeing that the only disappointment is the one that arises from outsourcing your liberation from any other thing.

Bliss is about moment to moment decisions. It is about doing what needs to be done on the deepest level, it is about releasing all expectations and appointing yourself as the central divine provider and intimate, creative companion in your own liberation journey.

It is always within our reach to claim it. Every second.

Bliss doesn’t mean you become a dripping ooze of ecstasy every second, nor does it make you into some kind of love addict.

Bliss is truly an alchemical state we experience as a result of partnering and coupling within at all the edgiest corners of unenlightenment that we can encounter in our own self and our relationship…to experience bliss is the medicine the work gives.

The person in your mind who you think can’t experience bliss can. Always with all of our reach.

Bliss is not necessarily just take-out food and never having to work another day for the rest of your life. The ones who experience bliss are a force to be reckoned with, have the strength of the lion-hearted ones, and have burned in the fires for eons. Now they get to reap and enjoy the benefits of their hard work, and share it on all the realms with their own soul and their partners in all the ways…what an amazingly sexy, hot, intimate, and liberating delight.

It’s about being very honest with yourself in every little place you have given your power away, on all the levels and places that only you know about. And consciously and fiercely reclaiming this power for the benefit of your life, your relationship, and for the benefit of humanity.

Bliss can give you massive physical healing, release huge body syndromes, clear up heart pain entirely, and create magnetism.

It will also burn through egoic pain, and naturally help slide out, old injuries, pains, and mind structures. Your identity as any of that offshoot, old syndromes, will be on the way out.

It can also give you profound mental clarity, not just a fleeting ungrounded euphoria, but really help you access all the creativity available from your full spiritual and soul journey, and heal hurts, grief, agonies, and karmas, straight to the core, especially relationship realms; sex, love, intimacy, and connection.

Bliss is only here to serve as the elixir you know somewhere inside of you is the natural result, and you know exactly where it’s due, because you know you, and your beloved does too in many ways. You both see and can share in the mutual benefits this brings each other.

Everyone in partnership has their own unique way of being in bliss. It is a sweet, sacred intimate knowing that is possible and when you experience it together, there is a sublime union that happens, divine love, exalted love…delicious.

We will each have our expressions of bliss and they are often amazingly in sync with each other. Each version has its gift for the other, usually because they know the other so well.

You never have to mistrust Bliss and identify it as some temporary, fleeting thing, nor grip onto it like it is something to be possessed, it is delivered moment to moment based on how we do our inner alchemizing work, always. This is the gift our synthesizing efforts give us.

And never think the bliss needs to look a certain way either. Each person has their own unique journey of how that unfolds for them. And there is no competition, only more bliss possible when you become that coupling with your inner world, along with your beloved reflection.

The Bliss is really so deeply developed from the sincere work of facing the agonies, the sufferings, the karma, the disappointments of being a human and in our dissatisfactory ego, and healing that, is truly a pearl beyond any price because it is a herculean task, and the strength gained from that sets the foundation for the bliss to be sustainable.

Because we are all humans, who have hearts, histories, big deep desires, and passions of some kind or another, there is so much opportunity for bliss to alchemized into embodiment and become powerful, liberation medicine for the relationship.

Who wants more real and SUSTAINABLE Bliss?

Drop your fav bliss emoji below to get more of it.

It gets challenging when we run into our conditioning during our sexual experiences…what we’ve been taught about how to love, how to f*ck, suck, and touch, and how much to open, trust, and love.

I went from struggle into some of the most ecstatic and amazing sexual experiences I’ve ever had.

I come from a long line of deep ancestral trauma.

My mother revealed to me in my late teen years that she was seriously molested by five different people growing up.

And in my early twenties, I also uncovered deeply repressed sexual abuse from her as well.

This was in addition to untangling all the inappropriate sexual energy my dad funneled my way, out of frustration that his marriage wasn’t functioning in the way he desired with my mom.

The brutal confusion I felt. And I know I’m not the only one. I hear about it every week.

The guilt and shame-ridden entanglements that lived in my body made sex, love, and intimacy a nightmarish adventure for me at times.

To relive all that pain, and then face it, attend to it, and heal it was NO joke.

I had to:

• experience body memories that my mind had forgotten because things were so shoved down.
• face those body memories with presence, attention, deep care, release, and bring in new resources of safety, and containment to help me literally know I wasn’t crazy, or alone, or that I wasn’t going to die, and that my body was safe, that my sexuality was healthy and that I could express it freely as my soul desired.
• process all the emotions about sex, receiving it, giving it, and loving it so fully.

This was just to start… but it’ what created sustainability in my partnership.

And sustainability in partnership is one of my number one values.

Get this.. 4 out of every 5 people in my client list have had some sort of sexual violation or another. And it’s not just the women, as more men are coming forward too. Almost everyone has love, sex, and closeness issues somewhere.

And then people get together in a relationship, as we do..just like me, and want the amazing sex lives that they see in the movies and media.

And you run into obstacles.

And you wonder what the hell you’re going to do or how to handle it because It cuts so deep because it creates so much connection and goodness when we have great sex, and so many feelings of darkness and shut down and gloom when we don’t.

I see this every day in my work. And it effects everything.

I’ve got your back. And I seriously do get you and this prickly and extremely vulnerable territory.

And here’s the good thing. Even if you’re hopeless right now, even if you wonder how you’ll ever have the partnership, and the high-quality connection I know that you so deeply crave and desire…

If I can heal, I KNOW you can and will too.

It’s not a ‘nice to have,’ it’s your birthright, and doing this work will make you thrive.

If we turn towards those difficulties when they arise during sex, and with expert support, and face them by clarifying exactly what the issue is;

Whether if it’s emotional, or mental, or conditioning from your lineage,

Or maybe it’s in your nervous system and your body sensations during sex feel intolerable.. and you walk towards them, not get rid of it, and actually give it the presence it needs, the love it needs, the care it needs, the space you need for any knots to unfurl and untangle and get clear,

You WILL heal, and I’m not just talking about surviving and being functional.. I’m talking you will THRIVE.

Like I did, becoming sovereign and free from all the past conditioning.

My desires and soul required it.

And started having sustainable, fabulous, pleasure-filled, satisfying, and fulfilling sexual experiences that were hot, and wild, and free…despite everything I had been taught.

I was relentless because I wasn’t about to give up on sex, to deny it, or pretend I didn’t need it or become a nun, which I once considered at the height of my suffering. (that’s another story for another time 🙂 )

And if you’re devoted to doing the work I describe, and you make the decision that you WILL overcome it, and that you DO get to have epic love-making and sex, that birthright will become yours as well.

And not only that, you will contribute to the healing of your relationship, and your family, and the world.

You will provide amazing modeling for your kids.

And if your partner is on board for doing the work it will absolutely double the results.. actually triple or more.. because 1 + 1 is waaaay more than 2. Maybe it is actually infinity. I’m open to working with you or your partner, but ideally you both.

Sexual healing is one of the ways we can become truly liberated. To be free to love and express the fullness of our sexual desires and needs and pleasure. That is your right!

If you claim it.

You DO get to decide.

And the question is, will you?

I want that for you SO much, and I know you do too.

Learning how to resolve sexual traumas is one of the things we cover in The Marriage & Relationship Blueprint ™ program. So you can go from stuck and disconnected, to hot and happy in bed. The ones who are the most courageous get the biggest results and pleasure, if I’m being honest. Email me at joanna@joannaintara.com for more details to see if it’s a fit.